r/funny SrGrafo Nov 02 '21 Silver 13 Wholesome 11 Vote Local! 8 Meow Meow 7 Plucky Cat Paw 6

I can feel it already Verified

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49.4k Upvotes

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1.1k

u/Rewdboy05 Nov 02 '21

Okay but what's under the Santa hat???

1.7k

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21 Silver

664

u/Lopoi Nov 02 '21

And whats under the 2022 hat?

1.7k

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21 Silver Gold Vote Local!

EDIT (that will last for 1.3 weeks)

549

u/TheoreticalParadox Nov 02 '21

How long does the tattoo last?

1.0k

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21 Buff Doge

EDIT (couple years, but you can always fix it)

232

u/pinkflyingpigs Nov 02 '21

Wow 3 Edits in a row! The longest I’ve seen.

86

u/jpGrind Nov 03 '21

somebody please call the cool dude hall of fame

we got us a new inductee

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12

u/doubl3b3at Nov 03 '21

That’s what she said.

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15

u/windrifter Nov 02 '21

Semi-related, Pain and Gain is a fun movie. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1980209/

5

u/E116 Nov 03 '21

Walhberg, The Rock, Anthony Mackie, Ed Harris, Shalhoub, and wtf... Ken Jeong and Rebel Wilson? Why was this hiding under a rock, is it that bad?

5

u/windrifter Nov 03 '21

And directed by Michael Bay.

If you're looking for excellence in storytelling, this isn't the place to go. If you want something that's bonkers and highly entertaining, this is worth a watch.

5

u/WeirdguyOfDoom Nov 03 '21

And remember to read the real story. As over the top as this whole movie seem, what happened for real will BLOW. YOUR. MIND.

https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/pain-and-gain-6396870

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32

u/TheoreticalParadox Nov 02 '21

Ayyye, 2 fer 1

11

u/J-Lucas-b Nov 02 '21

But what's under the tattoo?

8

u/EmptyOrangeJuice Nov 02 '21

Flesh

4

u/kuriboshoe Nov 02 '21

Keep going...

Edit: Flesh made of happy cake for you

2

u/Hamish_french Nov 03 '21

This is... creative...

2

u/myeyesarepancakes Nov 03 '21

It's like one of those Russian doll things where they uneat each other

2

u/Kumaabear Nov 03 '21

Easter bunny ears next?

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17

u/damniticant Nov 02 '21

Aw I was hoping this would spawn a chain of holidays that ended with a guy wearing a 2023 hat

4

u/Birdyghostly1 Nov 03 '21

Maybe even a 3000 hat!

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5

u/Govt-Issue-SexRobot Nov 03 '21

This got me really good

Well played

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9

u/Beaker360 Nov 02 '21

2022 glasses

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572

u/Amrokmfc Nov 02 '21

Stores had Christmas crap up in late September. There is a war with Christmas, and Christmas is kicking all the other holidays asses.

78

u/Liar_tuck Nov 03 '21

The war on Christmas will not end until it ends its illegal occupation of Halloween and Thanksgiving!

20

u/NightChime Nov 03 '21

Then the rebellion on Christmas begins.

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299

u/be_bo_i_am_robot Nov 02 '21 I'll Drink to That

Honestly, it’s a bit much.

Perhaps we should declare war on Christmas. Not to annihilate it - just to beat it back and confine it to the original 12 Days of Christmas. Shopping for gifts shouldn’t even begin until December 12th. Same with the music and decorations.

130

u/tsadecoy Nov 02 '21

I still remember the last stand at Thanksgiving. They never stood a chance.

59

u/Ar_Ciel Nov 03 '21

Puritan pilgrims didn't do a lot of cardio and those elves are fucking vicious.

5

u/PutAwayYourLaughter Nov 03 '21

[Thousand yard stare]

22

u/bluedragggon3 Nov 03 '21

I remember Thanksgiving. Lost a lot of good turkeys back there. Those Christmas bastards didn't pardon a single one. I only survived cause I had enough pumpkin pie and ham to evade their elf execution squads.

Never forget.

11

u/tsadecoy Nov 03 '21

Semper gobble brother

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38

u/Seicair Nov 03 '21 edited Nov 03 '21

confine it to the original 12 Days of Christmas. Sh

The first of those 12 days is December 25th. And Advent starts either November 15th or December 1st, depending on your denomination.

19

u/rumination_station Nov 03 '21

Thank you for being the nerd. I was getting ready to push up my glasses and type "technically....."

12

u/LickMyThralls Nov 03 '21

Glad someone understands what the 12 days of Christmas actually is hahaha. People will make up anything to justify their own ends.

77

u/metalconscript Nov 02 '21

na, buy the gifts a little early but I want my turkey first. Also, it is probably a fight against corporations and driving us to just consume.

26

u/Reflective_Larry Nov 03 '21

Corporate: "let's repurpose it to the 12 months of Christmas"

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22

u/shortasalways Nov 03 '21

I buy gifts early and they go in a closet. Especially this year because of shipping and production delays. Christmas stuff is not allowed to go up til after Thanksgiving. I considered the Macy's thanksgiving parade our kick off date and the next day we can get our Christmas stuff. I have banned Mariah Carey's music from the house.

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4

u/esoteric_enigma Nov 03 '21

I mean to me, Thanksgiving has always been pre-Christmas. Food is cool and all, but as a kid, I was looking for the presents. Now as an adult, I just love the general season and cheer that comes with it.

66

u/thatguytony Nov 02 '21

I'm good with Dec 1st. Christmas stuff can start December 1st.

29

u/dv73272020 Nov 03 '21

If it were up to me, that would be the law. No mention of back to school until September 1st. No Halloween until October 1st. No Thanksgiving until November 1st. No Christmas until December 1st. If you're a business or retailer caught in violation you receive an exponential fine for every day you're early that gets worse every year. Period. End of story.

27

u/shortasalways Nov 03 '21

School starts in August in a lot of the country so that wouldn't make sense for September 1st. I rather enjoy having memorial day weekend as our kick off to summer.

3

u/dv73272020 Nov 03 '21

Well there's your problem, your school starts too damn early, move the start of school to the second week of Sept. Problem solved. =P

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6

u/ThePantser Nov 03 '21

Any free passes of your business is only Christmas? Like Bronners in Frankenmuth Michigan?

7

u/thatguytony Nov 03 '21

When your whole marketing idea is Christmas, I think it can slide.

8

u/ThePantser Nov 03 '21

In that case Walmart just announced they are changing their name to Walmas the Christmas Superstore

6

u/LickMyThralls Nov 03 '21

School literally starts at the end of August here so back to school would be super fucking late lmao

2

u/jztmenow Nov 03 '21

I like this idea.

6

u/StephanieStarshine Nov 03 '21

I really like Christmas lights. It's a beautiful way to fight the darkness and it bums me out people take them down in January when it's still so dark all the time.

5

u/ZirePhiinix Nov 03 '21

I just save all the presents I don't like, wait until the free wrapping services appear in stores, and get all my stuff rewrapped.

Yes, if Santa was real, I would be getting coal, but he's not.

3

u/Kael_Doreibo Nov 03 '21

That will just drive all the Christmas Fanatics underground and force them to create illegal Christmas circles and cartels. Hell, if we drive them too far underground they might dig up Mariah Carey's Cryo tube and release her to thaw out before November 1st. Then we'd have the full blown Christmas apocalypse.

3

u/Shawnessy Nov 03 '21

My family would usually setup Christmas stuff the weekend following Thanksgiving. Usually everyone was off work, and it wasn't too early it felt like. But shit going up before Halloween, 2 months before, is insane.

4

u/A_Trash_Homosapien Nov 03 '21

Buy gifts as early or as late as you want but decorating, songs, and everything else Christmas related needs to fuck off till December 1st at the earliest

And to all the people I've sold Christmas trees to on the day after Thanksgiving I hope all of your trees died before Christmas for trying to make me celebrate it early

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2

u/ardranor Nov 03 '21

But you'd never get your hands on a turbo man action figure if you wait that long

2

u/drmario_eats_faces Nov 03 '21

Those bastards took my turkey.

2

u/kruger_bass Nov 03 '21

You cannot kill the Christmas.

Christmas will live on.

2

u/AbeRego Nov 03 '21

The 12 Days of Christmas start on Christmas Day, and continue for 12 days after that

2

u/luiguisf Nov 03 '21

Just after Virgen de Guadalupe festivities, at least in Mexico

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52

u/Sunnysideny Nov 02 '21

It’s a shame too cause Halloween is arguably the coolest holiday.

10

u/bakakubi Nov 03 '21

I love Halloween for the costumes and partying, and I like Chrsitmas for all the paid time off. But yeah, wish retail would chill the fuck out with Xmas.

24

u/Amrokmfc Nov 02 '21

It truly is. Halloween is the only holiday that can have evil versions of the other holiday representatives, and not have it ruin Halloween at all.

21

u/Numinak Nov 03 '21

I noticed christmas stuff crowding out the Halloween stuff at the beginning of October. That holiday is taking any inch it can.

11

u/xdonutx Nov 03 '21

I could barely find Halloween decor when I went to the stores a couple weeks ago. It’s crazy how early you have to shop to get what you’re looking for now.

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8

u/SobiTheRobot Nov 03 '21

Halloween is the ultimate crossover holiday.

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3

u/RedSquirrelFtw Nov 03 '21

My favourite is if you hit up Canadian Tire as the right time of year, you can see the BBQs, patio sets, Halloween inflatables and Christmas inflatables all lined up at same time.

2

u/f0rtytw0 Nov 03 '21

Heads for one of the reasons for it this year: supply chain issues.

The goal: get people shopping early since shit will take longer to reach its destination.

2

u/Kinoko98 Nov 03 '21

The store I work at started playing Christmas music the day after halloween. And we've been stocking it since early September.

2

u/jjayzx Nov 03 '21

In my area there was some places with some stuff at the end of August. Shit should be illegal.

2

u/FPSXpert Nov 03 '21

They start earlier every fucking year. When are we going to see year-round supplies at places? There's only 364 days until Xmas, you better prepare now!

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289

u/DeJMan Nov 02 '21

393

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21

EDIT...

51

u/Lopoi Nov 02 '21

For some reason this reminded me of some old video about nuclear bombs effects on people not near enough to instantly die

10

u/shinigamiscall Nov 02 '21

That may be because the animation often involved slideshow-like animation or because aging is just your cells slowly failing to properly replicate. (radiation speeds up this process by causing more defects/mutations)

8

u/myeyesarepancakes Nov 03 '21

On the bright side you get your own boobs to play with

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7

u/Lopoi Nov 02 '21

Honestly for me its not going too quickly its more that I have less stuff that I want to do, but more that I have to do. Damn you responsabilities

321

u/Harleking31 Nov 02 '21

A young man runs down a dark corridor, seemingly terrified of something, clearly running from it.

His eyes dart everywhere, inspecting every nook and cranny as he rushes down the endless hallway.

He sees a door! Freedom is right there, almost in his hands!

But he trips.

Something has grabbed his leg. He can't even scream before being dragged into the darkness, never to be seen again.

A soft tune is sung by a young woman. Her voice echoes from beyond the darkness when she reaches the climax of her tune.

Padoru, padoru

373

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21 Meow Meow

EDIT (oh its coming)

5

u/Trash-Basket Nov 02 '21

Pin merch?

6

u/Azair_Blaidd Nov 02 '21

Chloe as a Saber? Yes please

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u/PrimateOnAPlanet Nov 02 '21

I thought this was going in a more Shia LaBeouf direction

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26

u/pnumber2 Nov 02 '21

10

u/Fskn Nov 02 '21

Actual cannibal shia Labeouf?

7

u/pnumber2 Nov 02 '21

Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf

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292

u/werydude Nov 02 '21

Mariah Carey has entered the chat

41

u/Holy-Wan_Kenobi Nov 02 '21

Oh god not again

8

u/coumfy Nov 03 '21

YOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!

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2

u/themangeraaad Nov 03 '21

Holy fuck I heard that song that will not be named at this time of year on Halloween eve. I was super tempted to unplug the jukebox. It was too soon.

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40

u/bigolfishey Nov 02 '21

Seeing both Halloween and Christmas themed Oreos on the shelf at the same time this year really drove home how egregious this has become

171

u/Lopoi Nov 02 '21

You better be prepared for everything

takes off santa hat to show plague doctor mask

253

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21 Meow Meow

58

u/GTX2GvO Nov 02 '21

Who needs a sequel when you also have Reruns.

17

u/thatguytony Nov 02 '21

Pandemic in syndication. Thank you. I hate it.

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4

u/Beta_Nation Nov 02 '21

Is it a sequel if it never really ends....

3

u/migueeel Nov 02 '21

Funny of you to think that they'd be making a sequel rather than a remaster

6

u/dragn99 Nov 02 '21

It's not a sequel if it never ends.

3

u/HostilePasta Nov 03 '21

This is the plague that doesn't end!

Yes, it goes on and on, my friends!

Some people started spreading it not knowing what it was

And more continue spreading it forever just because...

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140

u/marcothecoolguy Nov 02 '21

Pumpkin on Head

Spooky scary skeletons

Takes pumpkin off

Adeste Fideles

299

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21 Wholesome

EDIT \takes pumpkin off**

EDIT

100

u/DarkestPassenger Nov 02 '21

You dirty bastard. To be fair ... You did warn me

22

u/Shadowdragon132 Nov 02 '21

To be faaaaaaiiiiiiiiirrrrrrr.......

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26

u/zenospenisparadox Nov 02 '21

Ya'll can suck my balls. I love this song.

48

u/Harleking31 Nov 02 '21

Song's not bad

But it's not meant to be played on loop for 2 months

19

u/KingdomKey12601 Nov 02 '21

This. Exactly this

3

u/Zolo49 Nov 02 '21

Saved by Google ads before the music started! Wooooo!

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59

u/JhawkFilms Nov 02 '21

I just put a Santa hat on my skeleton as a broke college grad. Makes it look like Jack Skellington

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106

u/freopen Nov 02 '21

Next step is Halloween season starting December 26th

169

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21

41

u/Argoran Nov 02 '21

The Bunny? Which one of the girls is the Bunny? ALL OF THEM?!?

8

u/Mazon_Del Nov 03 '21

Ok, /u/SrGrafo should do a mini-comic about the various girls having a fight on January 1st for who gets to be what for what holiday.

Like, one might want to be Halloween-girl and be a sexy nurse or something. Another might want to be an elf for x-mas but NOT want to be a bunny for Easter.

30

u/That_guy1425 Nov 02 '21

See, I'm American so we squeeze in Uncle Sam between bunny and Halloween.

11

u/ccaccus Nov 03 '21

What about the wee leprechauns, rainbows, and Lucky Charms four leaf clovers alcohol?

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7

u/Genesis2001 Nov 03 '21

we squeeze in Uncle Sam between bunny and Halloween.

Not once, not twice, but three times.

  1. Memorial Day - End of May
  2. Independence Day - Beginning of July
  3. Labor Day (still "patriotic" colors if not 'Uncle Sam') - Beginning of September
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3

u/freopen Nov 02 '21

Yeah, we're not THAT advanced yet...

3

u/Hissing_Newt Nov 02 '21

This Irish/Mexican Newt would like a word about a couple of holidays you seem to have missed...

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3

u/mdkubit Nov 02 '21

No no, it'll be Valentine's Day starting immediately after Christmas.

241

u/GTX2GvO Nov 02 '21

Ehm. Isn't there also this thing called Thanksgiving?

Not entirely sure though.

The store I work at is already selling Christmas trees (and other stuff) since September. :/

336

u/SrGrafo SrGrafo Nov 02 '21

84

u/Libster87 Nov 02 '21

Except for Canadians (we do that shit before Halloween)

32

u/stone500 Nov 03 '21

So I learned. I work in IT for a company that has stores in Canada, and I suddenly couldn't reach the Canadian IT team because they were off for the holiday. For the life of me I couldn't figure out what damn holiday they were having.

16

u/Libster87 Nov 03 '21

Don’t tell anyone else. Closely guarded secret for us

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18

u/GTX2GvO Nov 02 '21

Eh.. Good enough.

Only know it from the Black Friday (and in recent years Cyber Monday) Sales.

4

u/spaghetticatman Nov 02 '21

Black Friday week and cyber monday week are my two favorite times to buy things that have been put on permanent sale

3

u/Rokketeer Nov 02 '21

I was going to wait out for Black Friday to buy my 2.1 stereo system I just ordered but was terrified that everything would be sold out even faster, so I paid MSRP this week instead...

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6

u/Piccolito Nov 02 '21

thanksgiving DLC only for 9.99

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13

u/mdkubit Nov 02 '21

Remember when we used to do the ironic 'Christmas in July' sales?

10

u/GreenAdvance Nov 02 '21

I was lazy and didn't buy candy for Halloween until the day of. Ended up with christmas tree shaped candies to give out.

4

u/Azair_Blaidd Nov 02 '21

Halloween is a little more widespread than Thanksgiving so no not everywhere

4

u/DroolingIguana Nov 02 '21

Ehm. Isn't there also this thing called Thanksgiving?

That was weeks ago.

3

u/PM_ME_TENDIEZ Nov 03 '21

You talking about the day before black friday?

3

u/911porsche Nov 03 '21

Isn't there also this thing called Thanksgiving

ONLY if you are in the USA, which the vast majority of the world isn't.

4

u/ladyoffate13 Nov 02 '21

SrGrafo isn’t American, so he wouldn’t celebrate it.

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47

u/Sprocket_hood16 Nov 02 '21

honestly don't understand why halloween thanksgiving and december are so spread out and then bam new year in only a couple of days

36

u/Yosikan Nov 02 '21

Let's move new year in March, so most of the months won't be misnomers and we'll have holidays better spread out

12

u/NerdlyThere Nov 02 '21

Probably best off moving it to the first day of April

8

u/Yosikan Nov 02 '21

It's fine I guess, but... my new years resolution fools nobody

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3

u/jorgelino_ Nov 03 '21

Better yet, let's make it all one big holiday spanning from october to december.

3

u/Yosikan Nov 03 '21

Even better, from December to October

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41

u/Swimming_Recover_321 Nov 02 '21

NO, NEVER, HALLOWEEN FOREVER!!!

18

u/Sunnysideny Nov 02 '21

Halloween is way cooler. I wish the Halloween season was longer like it is for Xmas.

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43

u/ExDream00 Nov 02 '21

Guess it is time to David S. Pumpkins to hibernate again until next year.

Now: RELEASE THE MARIAH CAREY!

13

u/LuntiX Nov 03 '21

Has anyone seen David S. Pumpkins and Mariah Carey at the same time?

I think not.

They’re the same person

4

u/shibbyingaway Nov 03 '21

David S. Pumpkins is his own thing man. Mariah is just a wonderful beautiful soul that just wants you for Christmas. She doesn’t even want turkey or even forcing you to buy a posh meat like goose. Just. You.

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6

u/Mizukin Nov 02 '21

Padoru.

21

u/TaiDavis Nov 02 '21

So what, fuck Thanksgiving?

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6

u/zomboromcom Nov 02 '21

Does Krampus have both covered?

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13

u/mdkubit Nov 02 '21

Meanwhile, Billy is off to the side waiting to carve up the Turkey for Thanksgiving.

...I hate how we skip holidays...

3

u/Azrael11 Nov 03 '21

Tbf, if you're not from the US, Thanksgiving isn't a thing (or rather Nov Thanksgiving, Canadians do their thing early).

That being said, I think it is fair to assume a holiday's season should only be in the month or so around it. Even if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, setting up the Christmas lights and drinking some eggnog seems out of place when Guy Fawkes hasn't even tried to blow up Parliament yet.

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11

u/dstayton Nov 02 '21

Hey not yet. America has to brag about its freedom first by eating turkey and then Christmas.

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5

u/Deathcrush Nov 02 '21

Idk these days the pumpkins are wearing santa hats. It's the war on halloween I tell you.

7

u/Saphira841-2 Nov 02 '21

At least let thanksgiving have its day :(

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3

u/Vath_14 Nov 02 '21

Just keep decorations for christmas all year round, you will never be late and Mariah Carey songs will jever catch you off guard

3

u/lornstar7 Nov 02 '21

I can hear the notes of Mariah Carey on the wind

3

u/_ISeeOldPeople_ Nov 02 '21

Oh god, I can already hear her...

distant Mariah Carey starts playing

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3

u/relddir123 Nov 02 '21

Nope, too early. I’m not ready for that yet

3

u/Dayzlikethis Nov 03 '21

Im celebrating Halloween throughout the holidays this year. The Skelton stays up

6

u/[deleted] Nov 02 '21

[deleted]

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u/ppppie_ Nov 02 '21

All I want for christmasss is y- SHUT UP!!

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u/SimonsPure Nov 02 '21

You mean to tell us you didn't recreate your youth and go as a bunny?

2

u/Rjjt456 Nov 02 '21

HA! JOKES ON YOU! The shop I'm working at have already had christmas themed candy for the last couple of weeks! (Also, the national Christmas beer is about to be released this Friday...)

2

u/DarthKallos Nov 02 '21

So it begins...

2

u/InnocuousAce Nov 02 '21

This belly’s been like jelly year-round

2

u/Ljudet-Innan Nov 02 '21

Pssh, I went to Lowe’s on Oct 1st and the Xmas displays were up.

2

u/Shadezc Nov 02 '21

Queue Mariah Carey for the next 2 months

2

u/Projectonyx Nov 02 '21

FR I'm at the beach and some clowns strung up an inflatable snowman on Nov 2nd

2

u/Coz__ Nov 02 '21

plot twist: his halloween costume is santa

2

u/CJRedbeard Nov 02 '21

Where's Maria at? We gotta have Maria singing.

2

u/I-am-the-sen8 Nov 02 '21

Actually relatively early to a comic for once must be a Christmas miracle

2

u/zealashton Nov 02 '21

I really do want to just dress up like Santa Claus for Halloween. You're still around saying ho ho ho Merry Christmas. So that I can scare everybody the fuck out

2

u/M_R_Nanashi Nov 02 '21

You still using that pumpkin? I want to save it for next years Halloween.

2

u/NightmareKitsune Nov 02 '21

Mariah Carey And Michael Bublé slowly start to thaw from their frozen Christmas prison to sing Christmas songs and all songs will become their Christmas songs

2

u/macsare1 Nov 02 '21

🎶 Kidnap the Sandy Claws... 🎶

2

u/Killerbean83 Nov 02 '21

Yippy ka yee motherfucker

2

u/ShaneGough Nov 02 '21

As someone born near Thanksgiving, how dare you discount our holiday/place it in your bundle! Turkey fans rise up!

2

u/Reddit_Bots_R_US Nov 02 '21

You skipped turkey time

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u/Kahzgul Nov 02 '21

Just skipping thanksgiving entirely this year, are we? Global supply chain shortages, my ass.

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2

u/Dontlagmebro Nov 02 '21

Instead of a Santa hat it shoulda just been Mirah Carrey's face.

2

u/A-RandomBoi Nov 02 '21

all i want for chris- gunshots

2

u/mhoner Nov 02 '21

But thanksgiving is awesome. Your goal is to party with friend and family whiling getting stuffed.

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2

u/DuntadaMan Nov 03 '21

No. Muy malo! Christmas needs to get back to the advent calendar, get the fuck out of my fall.

2

u/LegendaryWolf43 Nov 03 '21

Academy sports is already playing christmas music and I hate it

2

u/[deleted] Nov 03 '21

where's the joke

2

u/xsubo Nov 03 '21

Christmas lights go up weekend after U.S. thanksgiving and not a moment earlier

2

u/oddartist Nov 03 '21

Mine has another in between: Spouse's birthday.

I've been hearing the question for weeks now, "What did you get me for my birthday?". Interesting, since on MY birthday they bought THEMSELVES a truck. They are never going to live that one down.

2

u/hartjedi Nov 03 '21

My store is already playing Christmas music. I'm not a fan.

2

u/the_awesome_jacob Nov 03 '21

NO!
Turkey first