r/TwoXChromosomes Mar 06 '20 Hugz Coin Gift Helpful (Pro) Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome

[MINI FAQ] Do I have to be a woman to participate here? What about the subreddit name? What about trans women? What are the rules, anyway?


Do I have to be a woman to participate in this community?

No. Any user who can follow the rules is welcome here. Women, men, nonbinary, agender, genderqueer, cis folks and trans folks, everybody. If you're not on board with that, you can fuck right off.

But what about the subreddit name?

Read this post from when 2XC was only a month old. We haven't changed our stance since then, and never will.

What about trans women?

Trans women are women. TERFS can fuck right off.

What are the rules, anyway?

TL;DR: Keep it civil, keep it relevant. Don't start shit, won't be shit.

You can find the rules in the sidebar (community info for mobile users), or here's a direct link: 2XC Rules

Most moderator actions are the result of users breaking Rule 1: RESPECT. If you keep Wheaton's Law* in mind and participate in good faith, you'll probably never hear from the mod team.


*Wheaton's Law: Don't be a dick.

For more in-depth interpretations of the rules above, see the 2XC FAQ and 2XC Moderation Policy.

r/TwoXChromosomes 11h ago Silver

/r/all India Plans to Criminalize Marital Rape, So Some Men Are Boycotting Marriage

Thumbnail vice.com

r/TwoXChromosomes 9h ago

It's not just the baby in there you idiot!


Getting close to the end of my pregnancy and sooooo many people (all men) thinking I must be overdue already or having twins, even triplets!

A male co-worker (he's low 20s and very immature/stupid, I just turned 30) asked me very seriously if the doctors were sure it wasn't at least twins.

I was done at that point.

"Dude, it's a probably 8 pound-ish baby, the amniotic sac and fluids, the placenta plus you know my organs are also still in there."

Him: visibly grossed out with a mask "Oh I don't want all that detail."

Detail? Detail!?!?!?! Bitch that's the basic anatomy of a pregnancy! You got a long way to go if that's all it takes to gross you out.

His girlfriend isn't the brightest 20something either but I feel for her. He strikes me as the kind of guy who would get unreasonably angry if she bled in the bed or really anything involving her period. The kind of guy who sees an unused tampon or pad in the locker room (gender shared) and would either faint or make a complaint.

r/TwoXChromosomes 11h ago Silver

Old man made my day worse


I had just climbed down a ladder when a man i knew from another department beckon led me over. I knew him in passing from polite conversation here and there. we always said good morning and asked how each other were doing. instead, when i walk over i get:

"Are you married? Are you single?"

I barely have time to blink before,

"Do you want to fo in a date with me?"

My brain catches up enough to muster a half-assed smile and politely say

" no thank you"

He could've just taken the no and been on his way but instead he asks

"well what's stopping you from saying yes? I know not many people talk to you because of the way you dress so i wanted to take the opportunity because I can tell that you're really pretty"


now im pissed off.

"because i don't want to."

now he laughs and tells me to let him know if i change my mind.

This dude was definitely near 60. I'm 22. And I just feel sick inside. i was managing to have a decent day at a job I already hate. It just feels really gross and now I dread the next time I'll see him.

r/TwoXChromosomes 18h ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Ally

Nerd culture is toxic


I hate it when you have a more "nerdy" interest like math, computers, chess, programming etc. you're being dismissed for being a woman. No, I don't want to hook up with you because I played a chess game with you . I am not an object you can drool over because there's a picture of me on my chess.com profile page. And I also like to be taken seriously when I am the only girl in my programming class and not taken as a last resort.

r/TwoXChromosomes 10h ago Wholesome

I have to give props to my brother when I was online dating


Way back in 2006 I was living with my brother in a large city after I graduated from college. I was 23ish at the time, and since I didn't know anybody in that city, I turned to Match.com to find a date. When I went on my 1st date, my brother insisted that I have a code word with him and text him every location I was at. If I texted him with the code word he would immediately call the cops to that location. This was completely his idea, and I would have never thought to do so. We were talking on the phone the other day and he brought up the subject and we were trying to remember what the code word was. It made me realize that I did not appreciate how protective he was at the time. Even when the date went really well and I texted him that I that I would not be home until late, he called me and insisted on talking to my date to make sure that I was safe. That date ended up becoming my husband, so its safe to say it went well, but still I will always be thankful that my brother was was cognitively aware of my safety. For the curious, our code word was "penguin."

r/TwoXChromosomes 3h ago

A guy I know made an off-hand comment about how he doesn’t understand why women choose such bad dudes all the time. I asked him how often he hears about men who put a ton of effort and even money into tricking women, and if he still considers it women’s fault for being tricked. He laughed it off.


r/TwoXChromosomes 3h ago

"Only 24> females"


I have a man friend that is going through a divorce. We're the same age, 30. When he separated he joked that he never saw being in a relationship unless it was with a "24 and under, ten." Which fucked me up.

I know he is upset.... but to discount all females by age and attractiveness....No wonder he's in this situation with this mentality. .. it's a disgusting mindset that only speaks to further internal misogyny and I am honeslty so turned off I don't even want to communicate with this person further. Even as a joke....it's disappointing, regressive and gross.

r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Silver Helpful Wholesome Starstruck

For folks who need birth control pills


On Thursday, Mark Cuban launched an online pharmacy that offers more than 100 generic drugs at an affordable price. For example, the generic for cancer medication Gleevec is listed at $17, not $2,500 per month.


I checked: Orth TriCyclen is $7/month. No insurance accepted. That's the actual price.

For folks in the US who don't have insurance, are prescribed expensive medications, or don't want their partners or parents to find out they are taking medication by running it through insurance, this might be a cool option.

r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Silver Wholesome

You know, it really sucks that mens’ shitty behavior makes parents not want daughters.


I was just on a zoom call with some colleagues and they talked about how they’re terrified of having a daughter and prefer to have a boy because “with a boy you worry about one penis, with a girl you worry about hundreds”. When I probed into that, they used an example of how their 16 year old niece was dating a 21 year old marine and how if they had a boy they wouldn’t have to worry about it. I’ve heard this argument 100 times and it just drips of misogyny.

It really sucks that in these situations, they’d rather raise a possible abuser than a potential victim.

Edit: people can stop messaging me about saying all men are abusive. I didn’t say that. I’m referencing a conversation where the man in question was, in fact, an abuser ffs.

r/TwoXChromosomes 9h ago

Three things that upset me about some things men say


So, I’m just writing this out to get my feelings out. I might delete this later on but I was on the askmen subreddit because I like to learn things about men since I only really have a few male family members that I don’t see all the time and like zero male friends.

  1. They kept saying that women are complimented for just existing and that bothers me. Attractive women and complimented. I’m fat so automatically unattractive to some people. I hardly get compliments and I’m sure other fat women/femme presenting people can relate. Even people who don’t fit the beauty standard don’t get complimented like that. Most compliments are from women—why should I start complimenting men when they don’t even pay me any mind unless they need something. Men should start complimenting themselves more, women can’t just start giving them compliments and thinking that’ll fix everything.

  2. That men are stupid. They aren’t. So many times they act like they have the mind of the toddler. It’s hard the explain but it’s with making themselves seen as just horny creatures who just like sexy women. They should stop lowering themselves like that. I’m actually not sure why that upsets me so much but it does lol.

  3. This is the one that scares me. They kept talking about how the average man is SO much stronger than the average woman. But then they also say that they don’t like being viewed as a criminal during night or something like that. Like?? You are “stronger” even without working out a lot, women have a reason to be terrified of you—especially if they don’t know you. Like really, what do you expect?? That women are just gonna trust any man they meant when he could easily beat her up because he’s supposedly so “strong”.

I’m sorry for ranting. I’m only 16 so my emotions are definitely needs some work. Thanks for reading if you got this far. (This might get deleted later)

r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago

I experienced a strange situation where I was carded for trying to buy feminine products


So the other day, my boyfriend and I (26) walked to the local Walgreens to pick up some things. Cut to us checking out and as the cashier is ringing up our items, they said, you’ll need an ID for this item.

I wasn’t sure what they were referring to, the Epsom salts, Benadryl, other supplements? No, it was a feminine health screening kit.

This kit includes 2 swabs that tell you if your vaginal pH is “normal” or “abnormal”. It says that even if your pH is “normal” you still could have a yeast infection, so not even that great test in the grand scheme of things.

So I’m standing at checkout, asking if they’re serious, and they say yes, they could lose their job if they sell it to me without one. I didn’t have my full wallet on me (since I was using contactless payment) so I was going to have to leave without it. tHaNk gOD my male chaperone/boyfriend was there or else I’d not be able to test my vaginal pH!

The box doesn’t give any indication as to why there may be any kind of restriction validating a need for an ID check, nor could I find anything online to justify it either. I called consumer relations and they couldn’t tell me anything about it either, but they “opened a ticket” and said they’d get back to me. It’s been a few days since then.

In general, I think this situation is crazy, and I’m very confused about the reason for carding for a simple vaginal test kit. Does anyone have any insight? Am I crazy for being pissed? I plan to get to the bottom of this one way or another.

r/TwoXChromosomes 21h ago

...she's all fat and a bag of chips


I grew up with a fat mom. When I think about my childhood, I have images of my mom gossiping on the phone with friends, or reading a book. When I tried to get her attention, she would say, "I'm on the phone." or, "Just let me finish this chapter."

I was also raised Mormon. My mom would read to me from The Book of Mormon and talk to me about how important church is. Other than that, I don't remember really doing other things with my mom...she didn't teach me things - like how to cook, and how to clean things. If I did clean things, my mom would pull up a chair, and "supervise" while I cleaned. I don't remember her setting up playdates with other children, or even doing simple things - like, taking walks with me.

My dad was cut from another piece of cloth. He traveled, golfed regularly, worked his ass off, fixed things around the house, and tried to spend any extra money he could... to make us happy.

Things at school would come up, like "Lunch with Mom" day. (It was a day your mom could come to school and eat lunch with you). I never wanted my mom to come, I was so embarrassed about how the other kids would see her.

Now here I am...an adult. Also a mother. - I have taught myself how to cook and clean (thanks to the internet). I am not a great housekeeper...but, I am a good cook.

My mom refuses to come to my house, because I have two steps that lead to the front door...and she says it's "too hard" for her to climb those steps. Because my mom isn't very agile, she tackles problems in a non-traditional way. For example, one day my mom pulled up to my sister's house and saw my nephew on his bike. He rode up the driveway, and biffed it. He hit his head on the garage. He was lying in the driveway, and my mom didn't get out of her car to tend to him. Instead, she sat in her car and honked the horn - hoping a neighbor or someone would hear the horn, and come help him.

Because of this incident, I cannot trust my mom to babysit my kids. I have started having all holiday gatherings at my house and always invite my parents. I invite them both to all of our children's performances at school. My dad comes, but my mom doesn't. She doesn't want to do anything except talk to me on the phone, or insist I come and visit her.

I don't even know where I am going with this...but, I am exhausted with her lack of wanting -- to want more out of life.

I'm not even sure if this is where I should post my story. 😥

r/TwoXChromosomes 1h ago

Doctors thought it was anxiety. It wasn't.


For background, I am on a type of treatment that inherently puts me at a high risk for infection.

Story: I started having intermittent cold/flu like symptoms every time I used my treatment (the one that has a high infection risk). Terrible body aches, awful chills and sweats, low blood pressure, tachycardia and then eventually fever. I told my doctor and a few trivial things were suggested, like I need to prepare it differently, etc. A little over a week later these symptoms are still happening despite everything we tried (thought maybe it was an allergic reaction, but I've been on it for months). Finally one day I called my doctor because I noticed a really alarming sign (that ironically ended up being irrelevant) and he told me to present to the ER, where they discussed these odd symptoms I'd been having with my treatment. I was admitted, and the doctors had several theories of what the cause was. Guess what one of them was. Anxiety. They wanted to rule out that my tachycardia, low blood pressure, and fever... Were from anxiety. Out of the 3 theories they had, guess which one they wanted to test first? So they gave me Xanax and then started my normal at-home treatment. Of course I got body pain, low BP, high heart rate, and fever. I suffered through it a few hours before demanding they turn it off. The next morning, one of the doctors on the team (a truly kind doctor, but also the one that said the quote below) walks into my room and tells me they found bacteria in my bloodstream. I had sepsis.

I was hospitalized for 11 1/2 days. And while I do truly like and respect and trust my doctor and his team, I can't help but feel so insulted, so minimized, so outraged and helpless. I just think... Even good doctors aren't immune to (sub)conscious bias against women and their medical needs/symptoms.

What hurt the most was when I got emotional in front of one doctor and said, "the fact you think this is anxiety makes me feel completely invalidated." I was choked up and holding back tears. I felt like they were saying "you're lying about your vitals and it's all in your head." The doctor noticed my emotion and said, "this is why we think it's anxiety."

r/TwoXChromosomes 16h ago

Men are creating AI girlfriends, verbally abusing them, and bragging about it on Reddit

Thumbnail fortune.com

r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Hugz Helpful Wholesome

I got manhandled by the same grocery store employee for the 2nd time today


In Nov I was shopping at a grocery store that’s pretty new to me, but I like it. I walked inside and the guy gathering carts started motioning for me to move, but I didn’t have a place to move. I managed to scramble out of the way and waited until he return the carts.

When he appeared done and had walked away, I went to get a cart and suddenly I was being violently shoved away. I was so surprised and didn’t know what do do so I froze. The guy gestured at me some more then grabbed both of my shoulders and forcefully moved me.

I was pretty shook up because of my history of abuse and C PTSD. I didn’t go back for a while. I didn’t make a report because I don’t want to be seen as a Karen or make someone lose their job.

Today I went back for the 2nd time since. I had to sit in my car and psych myself up. Almost the same thing happened again. Less violent, but he body checked me out of the way. This time people saw and seemed kind of shocked.

So by husband Ubered over and stood by me while I spoke to 2 subsequent managers. Eventually, they reviewed the footage and said he will be spoken to and they apologized.

I told them I don’t feel safe shopping there anymore. But I appreciate the apology. No one called me a Karen. But I have a hard enough time leaving my house without stuff like that. How many men in my life, even strangers, think they can put hands on me because I’m small and probably won’t fight back.

r/TwoXChromosomes 4h ago

If the roles were reversed.... TW:SA


So i am pretty sure most of you know what is going on with the Sienna and Jack Wright situation on Tik Tok. If you don't know it involves Jack being sexually assaulted and i wont get into it because it's very horrifying.

However, here's the issue I have I see so many comments from men and suprisgenly some women saying if the roles were reversed "this would have more attention" or "she would be in jail."

And i hate to break it to you guys but the roles are usually reversed and nothing ever happens. First of all, this isn't an ordinary person, this is a FAMOUS person. Are we going to act like rappers, and other tik tok stars like Tony Lopez didn't do this stuff? Or are we just going to act like that there's always a solution because she is a women. You guys hype it up for some time and forget it. NOTHING WAS EVER DONE. AND THOSE PEOPLE STILL HAVE A PLATFORM.

So why is it that women always get dragged into this. You see so many women supporting and reposting but why is that not enough for men. Why do you put women into that situation trying to prove a point like it doesn't already happen.

It makes me sad because it gives me the feeling that they don't even care about the poor boy who was sexually assaulted. However, they had time to write if the roles were reversed shit but can't even send a condolence message to Jack.

I am so disgusted and ik all my women out there know this isn't the first time but i dont understand the thought process. Most rape cases dont even get a jail sentence, most rape cases arent even reported! What Jack did was brave, but pls stop dragging women into this. We already go through enough <3

PS: The US president had "26 incidents of “unwanted sexual contact” and 43 instances of inappropriate behaviour" and he still went on to be the president. Stop acting like ppl who have fame and money dont get away with this shit because they almost always do.

Sorry for the rant lol

r/TwoXChromosomes 2h ago LOVE! Party Train Ally Starstruck Today I Learned All-Seeing Upvote Take My Energy

‘It was a nightmare’: life in the US before legal abortion ‘I was terrified on the operating table. I couldn’t stop shaking.’ | The supreme court decision in Roe v Wade was made 49 years ago, making abortion a protected right.

Thumbnail theguardian.com

r/TwoXChromosomes 8h ago

Cat calling is getting to me


Today my husband and I were walking & parted ways when he was going to work. Two blocks later a car passes me playing music super loud then he slows down and turns off his music. I keep looking ahead but notice he’s driving alongside me at a slow pace to match my walking and I could just feel eyes on me. There was no car in front of him and he could have driven faster but I gave him the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he was looking for a parking space despite the fact there were plenty :-)

This happens for two blocks until we get to a stop light and he could have turned but instead waits until it’s my turn and as I’m crossing the street in front of him he puts the window down on his side and yells “so sexy”. So it confirmed that he was purposely trying to either get my attention or make me feel uncomfortable or both.

I get cat called often regardless of how nice or casual I dress and it’s giving me so much anxiety. I used to be so independent but now I hate even going to get groceries alone. I don’t feel safe. It annoys me that men have the audacity to yell at me on the street. I don’t care if it’s “you’re sexy” or “nice body” or “you’re beautiful” I don’t want any of it I’m worth more than being yelled at. If someone respectfully approached me I would feel more complimented but yelling out a car window or across the street is not it. I just needed to vent. I hate this.

r/TwoXChromosomes 7h ago

Support | Trigger I've been assaulted multiple times and no matter the circumstances, it was not my fault [TRIGGER WARNING]


I just made a list of people I've slept with out of curiosity and wanting to wrap my head around how many men have assaulted me in some way. 27 men, 6 of those assaulted me. 6 of these overall 27 encounters were actually sexually satisfying and I felt safe. Sharing these incidents is hard for me and I ask for you to PLEASE be kind and not victim blame.

Assaults: 1. I turned a guy down, he coerced/guilted me into sex. Reported him to police, police told me it was half my fault and that I provoked it because I had some nudes on reddit. The victim advocates advice was "you need Jesus."

  1. Long term boyfriend. Choked me VERY forcefully during sex multiple times, all without consent. Still not sure whether or not he was low key trying to kill me. Took me a long time to leave him, we lived together and I had no money or resources to get out of that situation.

  2. Had casual sex with a guy from work shortly after I was dumped by someone. I started crying because I realized I wasn't ready to have sex again. Told him to stop. He responded that he was "almost there" and kept going. He also took off the condom at one point without my consent. Later found out he was also sleeping with several of my other female coworkers.

  3. Was casually dating/hanging out with a guy. Went over to his place, I told him I wasn't up for sex that night as I had just finished a 12 hour shift. I said I'd probably be down for sex in the morning. In the middle of the night I woke up to him forcing his hand down my pants and trying to finger me. He was also groping my breasts so hard that it HURT. I lay there for a minute hoping he'd stop if he thought I was still asleep. He did not stop. Had to push him away from me. The next day I explained to him how I felt about it. He had no remorse about it, shrugged and said "I'm just a horndog."

  4. Was hooking up with a guy and he forced my head down on his dick. He wasn't even hard and even though I kept trying to pull my head away, he would push my head back down. I freaked and yelled at him to GTFO.

  5. Dude I dated casually would coerce/force me into sex, this happened a few times before I told him to f*ck off. If I wasn't in the mood he would say "Oh you can just lie there babe."

I haven't talked to a therapist about these incidents but I know I need to. Recently got a new therapist. I can't even hug men now without tensing up and panicking. Even a friendly hand on my shoulder makes me jump. I haven't been in a relationship for 2 and a half years and it's going to be a long while before that changes.

Thanks for listening, all. I know that a lot of you can relate and I hate that.

r/TwoXChromosomes 1d ago Silver Wholesome Ally

My bf told me to cover up because his brother couldn't look anywhere else...


I normally don't wear low cuts because I'm more comfortable wearing t-shirts. That day was different because I just got some new make up and I wanted to take some cute pictures but I don't have any fancy clothes. So I decided to wear a tank top and just like the title says my bf told me to cover up because his brother literally kept staring at my boobs and WOULDNT look anywhere else. How come he couldn't tell him to look elsewhere? We were sitting next to each other with his brother across from us and he kept staring at my boobs not even at me. I got up to change and immediately he stopped looking at my girls to watch TV. My bf would try to get his attention but it wasn't working so he whispered for me to change so he can look somewhere else. Then when he left he told me it was all my fault.. How is someone else's behavior my fault? I was so mad to be told it was my fault and not his because he had nowhere else to look. What is happening with the world when they can't take responsibility for their actions all because of how a woman dresses??? Just wow anyways sorry for the vent I'm just so upset and I feel like I'm right but the way he stood his ground makes me feel like losing hope in humanity.

r/TwoXChromosomes 12h ago

As a woman how can I interact in a kind way with the homeless/panhandling population without endangering myself?


I used to live near New York City when I was little, and my father was very protective of me and adamant that I do not make eye contact and just keep walking. It seemed to be the social norm of the city. Even people who gave money to those panhandling typically did so with minimal interactions. It even seemed like the only time it was proper to make eye contact was when giving money, and even then, not everyone did.

I’ve moved out west as an adult, to an area where there is still a substantial homeless/panhandling population. Some stand on street corners with signs, others will approach you as you’re walking and ask for money.

I never carry cash or change any more. It’s all on my phone or a card. There have been times when someone asked for money and I was able to give them the snickers I was carrying around and that was a decent interaction. And there was another time when a man cornered me in the alcove to a store entrance insisting I give $20. I had to go into the store for an extended time before I felt safe enough to leave.

So, as a small non-athletic woman, I’m wary of the element of danger that these interactions can provoke. My fear based instinct is to continue what my father taught me and not make eye contact and keep walking.

But that also seems like we’re all just further isolating struggling people from society. I don’t want to dehumanize them with my actions. I’d like to be able to say hi and smile and keep walking like most in the Midwest do. Is this impossible? Would it have been possible if I were a man?

I’m not wealthy by any standard and live in the cheapest apartment I could find in my area, but I would like to give something when I can. Would it be weird to carry around an extra lunch? Is it rude to offer a spare sandwich to someone asking for money? I don’t know if they have allergies or dietary restrictions, you know?

I don’t want to bring a man I don’t know to a cafe or something to buy them food because I’ve had instances of stalking and I’ve had several SA experiences in the past that has my defenses way up.

So where is the middle line? How can I be less avoidant and dehumanizing without endangering myself or disappointing someone desperately in need of money by not being able to give them any? I don’t want to keep driving or walking by intentionally pretending that they don’t exist.

Edit to add: my main concern is the casual walking by on the street- I’d like to acknowledge their existence the same as I would anyone else. Maybe a head nod, a hello, or some such casual recognition. It feels important to me-that some small gesture of recognition could help them feel less like they’re not part of society.

r/TwoXChromosomes 25m ago

I wish somebody would do for me what I do for others


I feel like this may resonate with a lot of women... I do a LOT for the people I love. I really overextend, go out of my way, and put in a lot of effort to make the people in my life feel seen, valued, and loved. I try to always be available if they need help or someone to talk to; I try to be considerate of their feelings and go out of my way to avoid confrontation or say things in a really nice way; I try to be thoughtful and cognizant of how they feel and what nice things I can do for them. I overextend in terms of time, money, and emotional labor to try and make people happy. I'm certainly not saying I'm perfect at it, but I try really hard.

I just realized tonight that of all the people in my life, only one of my sisters reciprocates the effort that I put in. My other siblings are basically absent from my life unless they need something. My parents are very focused on themselves - for example, they only recently noticed that I'm unhappy at my job, after a year of me explicitly saying so. My boyfriend does things for me, but honestly he doesn't put in nearly the same amount of effort that I do.

We celebrated my birthday tonight. My siblings except my sister didn't come. One of my siblings didn't even bother to tell us he wasn't coming. My boyfriend didn't get me anything, not even a card. I did about a third of the cooking. I stressed myself out trying to get ingredients and cooking utensils. I was doing ok with all of it until I looked around and realized that about half the people that were there looked like they'd rather be anywhere else. And it just hit me that, as hard as I go for these people, I don't get the same effort in return.

I know the people in my life care about me. And I don't do things for them in order to have it reciprocated. In fact, tonight was the first time I even really realized how lopsided the amount of effort is. But now that I've realized it, it makes me really sad. I just wish that I felt seen, valued, and loved as well.