r/TrueOffMyChest 7d ago Wholesome 15 I'll Drink to That 1 Evil Cackle 1 Silver 20 Helpful 19

Holy shit. Adulting is hard.

I’m 23 and I just started my first ever full time job. Holy shit. How does everyone do this crap? I spend 8 and 1/2 hours a day at work, 5 days per week. That doesn’t include travel time. By the time I get home I literally have max 6 hours left to myself/family before I have to sleep and do it all over again. I now understand movements like FIRE and subs like r/antiwork and just why some people are so frugal with their hard earned money. I used to think other people were just lazy or that those who don’t like to spend money are cheap, but this system of work is straight up unnatural. 4 days per week would be so much more reasonable. I already want out. Let’s hope I win the lottery on Friday. That is all.

Edit: this post is really popping off! Thank you everyone, I appreciate the discussion.

Edit 2: thank you so much for all the helpful comments too! ☺️ I might not respond to every one, but I’m going to try my best to read them all. Hopefully they can help others too.

Edit 3: this is my biggest post ever! 😦 Just noticed the PM’s - you guys are so sweet! (I’ll reply… when I get off work)

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u/TugTigaPoonsPontoon 7d ago Helpful Wholesome Updoot

cheer up. you only have another 42-44 years before you can retire.

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u/MashTactics 7d ago Silver

I'll eat my hat if retirement is still a feasible option in 20 years.

I appreciate the optimism, though.

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u/irishwolfman 7d ago Helpful

!remindme 20 years

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u/awkward_droyd 7d ago

Reddit might not exist in 20 years lmao

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u/irishwolfman 7d ago

At this rate none of them will

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u/Mein_Captian 7d ago

But what website would I scroll through in the trenches of the climate wars?

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u/Suspicious_Soul 7d ago

We’ll all be dead or scraping to survive in a post-Apocalyptic Hellscape.

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u/Bazza0304_ 7d ago

Yeah we’ll be fighting skeletrex and his bone brigade by then. Damn you Skeletrex!

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u/ExceedinglyWolfGay 7d ago

Maybe even none of us :(

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u/maltesemania 7d ago

Maybe it will. But sometimes bots shut down after a few years.

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u/actualtttony 7d ago

In 20 years your hat will be considered an actual meal

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u/Gor3x87 7d ago

!RemindMe twenty years

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u/Zdarnel1 7d ago

My retirement plan is to die in climate wars.

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u/schrist79 7d ago

😂😂 I'm in my 40's now. I expect retirement age to easily be 70's+ by the time I get there. I feel so bad for younger generations

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u/Careful_Garden 7d ago

I’m 36 and unless something big changes, I see me working until I’m put in the ground

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u/ksck135 7d ago

You'll have to dig that up too. Not sure if /s or not

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u/Tired_But_Scrappy 7d ago

I'm 40. Right now it looks like I'll realistically be working full time till my 70s and then part-time after that. Really the benefit of "retirement" will be that I will qualify for Medicare so my healthcare won't be tied to my job anymore.

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u/patoo 7d ago

Hah, as if we'll be able to afford a grave by then.

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u/buttmunchery2000 7d ago Silver I'll Drink to That

Just turned 22, my retirement plan is to die in the climate wars.

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u/Aknownerroroccured 7d ago Helpful

Always healthy to set realistic goals for yourself

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u/alarumba 7d ago

My retirement plan is a turbocharged motorcycle.

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u/ChimoCharlie 7d ago

If they aren’t banned.

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u/420TaylorSt 7d ago

at least you don't have to save for that. spend your money living!

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u/TARANTULA_TIDDIES 7d ago

I got about a decade on you. My plan since I was your age was to hope that I die before they really kick off

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u/Chr3y 7d ago

Thats a good plan.

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u/Vussar 7d ago

Battlefield 2042

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u/Tilted2000 7d ago

It's funny that you think we'll get to retire

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u/Happy_Each_Day 7d ago Silver Helpful Hugz Dread

Was diagnosed with terminal cancer on Tuesday. I'm 48 years old.

In some ways, of course, this blows, but I'm honestly glad I don't have to sort out retirement. All my retirement savings disappeared in 2008, so I had to start over again and I didn't know how I was going to save enough.

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u/ExceedinglyWolfGay 7d ago

I'm sorry anyone had to live in this context, where dying is favorable compared to working all of your life for a few years of mediocre rest, if you are lucky.

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u/IvarTheBloody 7d ago

Hell my retirement plan is to sell my house, car and belongings and travel the world for a couple of years backpacking.

Then once I run out of money buy a shit load of drugs and overdose on the beach somewhere.

Thinking 50 is a good time to sell everything, but if I'm honest I hate the 9 to 5 life so much I probably won't make it past 35.

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u/Opeth-Ethereal 7d ago

Nah fam. Take fishing and hunting lessons if you don’t know how and a few survivalist courses. Sell it all and get a boat that’s capable of riding on the deep ocean. Buy a gun capable of blowing away any asshats you might come across. Then live your life on your own. Go where you please and do what you want. Find some peace.

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u/Luisd858 7d ago

He can ride around the Caribbean like the pirates lol and just fish and perhaps do private boat tours and get paid to sail basically for extra cash whenever needed

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u/Mushyfields 7d ago

I'm sorry to hear of your diagnosis, but it speaks to the quality of your spirit that you're looking for a silver lining. Cancer is a fucking beast and it's totally unfair that this is happening to you. I hope you're able to have some peace.

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u/BigWigglerToday 7d ago

The American dream right here.

Work hard and be happy you're dying.

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u/nagini11111 7d ago

Wow I was expecting you to say "And now I wish I would have another 30 years to work compared to the alternative l", but you surprised me. I'm so sorry for your diagnose.

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u/ilovegirlsforever 7d ago

That's if OP saves money.

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u/kingoftheparsnips 7d ago

OP, start saving for your retirement in a private pension fund right now! The younger you start the harder that compounding interest gets to work.

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u/over-thinking-it 7d ago

Yes! Great advice. Do not let one working year pass you by that you don’t put the max away for your retirement.

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u/kingoftheparsnips 7d ago

Exactly! Might seem stupid at 20 odd, but when you get to 35 you’ll be shitting your pants and wishing you could go back and start saving at 22… trust me 😂

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u/stublemouse 7d ago

Yeah, and then you'll get divorced at 40 & lose half of it. Ask me how I know

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u/ksck135 7d ago

I saw a news report few years back about how private pensions are a bullshit, they literally showed yearly report someone got on their account and it showed -3%

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u/kingoftheparsnips 7d ago

There are some super dodgy private pensions out there. For example, I used to work for a pension administration/management company and yes, the people in charge of these pensions did stuff like this and traded the money until it was all gone and people had no pension left.

On the other hand, there are some good ones out there. For example where I live, all private pensions are insured for the amount you invest in, so that's the minimum you'll get, plus you get a tax rebate every year for 25% of your contributions up to i think it's 700eur.

You have to do some homework to find the right provider/fund, but there are some solid ones around.

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u/heysweetannie 7d ago

That’s what my grandma told me when I took an extra year to graduate and felt like I was behind everyone else

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u/zeldrisgw 7d ago

I decided to get my master's degree three weeks before b.s graduation at the same college (easier). Just because I didn't want to start the job life for 30+ years. Extended my college life to eight years. Worth the adventure since it turned to be the best years of my life so far. Ended five years ago and now my life is kinda boring, repeated years.

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u/johnny_utah25 7d ago Wholesome

Lol right?!? I’m 33 and to be halfway through it all doesn’t feel any better bud. I work from 4:30am to 6pm, need to be there at 430. So I leave by 4. I have two kids so when I get home by 630-645, they are 20 minutes away from bed, bath and beyond. I literally have 20 minutes a day with my kids. Oh, but I do have Sunday off, so that’s a good day with them. You’ll get used to it and the days all kinda blend together. Before you know it’s you’re 33, and not much closer. Lol keep your chin up and legs movin. Works all some of us can do.

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u/ProfessionalBug1021 7d ago

This makes me want to kill myself now and I am 44. Just kidding but not really

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u/_hownowbrowncow_ 7d ago

I was recently diagnosed with high blood pressure (nothing crazy, I know), but at soon as I was told, my first thought was, "nice, finally a legitimate reason to 'accidentally' die"

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u/mr1404ed 7d ago

I'm 51, been working full-time since 19....tired , worn out, disgruntled at the whole system, knees hurt, back hurts, brain hurts...and I have a pretty good job, about 50 / 50 time split between standing and sitting ....even doing something you like can be incredibly draining after a few decades....

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u/Artful_Arches 7d ago

You send your children to bed at 7pm? I didn’t know parents actually did that.

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u/ksck135 7d ago

I'd send myself to sleep at 7pm if I could.

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u/iskren124 7d ago I'll Drink to That

I'd send myself if I could

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u/dom-lemon_sub-lime 7d ago

7pm is really reasonable for some kids. Mine are 5 and have to be up by 6am at the latest to go to before school care when I go to work. Kids actually need a ridiculous amount of sleep compared to adults.

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u/poems_for_a_mermaid 7d ago

My retirement plan is global warming.

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u/Mikeferdy 7d ago

Just a tip, not all work environment are the same. Some job/managers demand you to clock 8 hours no matter what. Others are more result orientated.

I'm lucky enough to get the later. There are days with really long hours but once the job is done, we get time for ourselves.

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u/WorkingContext 7d ago

This is what I came here to say, there jobs that pay you for your skills not your time. My job is client services oriented and it's great because if the client doesn't need anything, our management doesn't care what you're doing, just have your phone on you just in case.

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u/Plenty_Ad_3445 7d ago

This! Plus the work environment makes a huge difference. If you think about it, you are spending almost half your waking adult life with your work colleagues. So bonding with them, contributing to a better work environment will uplift quality of life considerably. If all of us do this, adulting might even become enjoyable.

Just a thought.

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u/kid_blue96 7d ago Wholesome

Working from home has been a lifesaver for me. Im the only one who knows how to code and i just give fake deadlines so I can do whatever I want during the rest of the time. Life is great

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u/coffee_lover_777 7d ago

WFH has turned me into a working stiff. :(

The department I am in has SOOO much work to do I end up working 12 hour days with the bosses constantly asking "Why isn't this or that done?"

They are constantly accusing me of not doing any work.

I'm going to try to hang on as long as I can but I fear burnout is near.

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u/typhonist 7d ago Helpful Wholesome

Hey man, if you've never worked for yourself or from home, which it sounds like here, you really need to set down and enforce some hard boundaries to keep your personal and professional life separate.

If you have a schedule, work your hours. Never work off the clock. Don't extend your day to meet the company's needs. A very common thing that bad management will do is just simply not hire enough people and take advantage of people like you who are willing to work their asses off.

When they ask, "Why isn't this or that done?" The answer is always: "Because I'm working on X. Do you want me to change priorities?" If you have this conversation verbally, send a confirmation message or email to them asking a question to ensure a paper trail. Use something like, "Since you asked me to do Y project instead of X project, do you want me to make the change immediately or should I finish X project first?" That way you're getting written confirmation of the directive so they can't claim ignorance later.

When they accuse you of not doing any work, the response I've always used is a list of the work I've finished recently. "I did the write up for this report, made 10 customer calls, corrected a shipping error, and attended a required meeting so far." Then, you just stare at them blankly. If they are trying to pressure you into feeling like you need to do more work, they will likely hm and haw and tell you some bullshit about improving productivity. Just nod in agreement and go back to doing your job as is. If they are reasonable, they may just not be aware of how much you're actually doing, and they will accept the answer.

Draw a clear and distinct boundary between your personal and professional life. Don't answer calls or messages in your off-time unless you're paid for that. Do not have work-related anything installed on any of your personal devices. When your work hours are done, put aside your work gear and do not touch it until you're back on the clock. If they complain, and they probably will if they're taking advantage of you, just shrug and say, "I'm not on the clock." They may try to pressure you with bullshit like being a team player or write ups, but they know that working off the clock is illegal. They won't do it. And if they do, go straight to the labor board and file a complaint. Don't fuck around with HR and management.

I've worked literally dozens of these crap jobs in my life. They all follow basically the same script. They under hire, complain that their hard workers aren't doing enough to pressure you into doing more, and try to manipulate you into burning yourself up lest they, god forbid, have to do their actual job or miss a bonus for keeping payroll under X hours. Being a hard worker does not pay off for you most of the time.

Play the game fairly when you're treated fairly. Fuck 'em back if they aren't. Don't destroy yourself and your mental health for this job.

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u/Wheel_of_Fortune_ 7d ago

I just wanted to take a second to let you know how well written and thought out this comment is. I was such a chump for so long and this sums up what took me years to realize.

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u/---rayne--- 7d ago

Fantastic post. This stuff is so important bc the company WILL bleed you dry and ditch you when you've had enough. It's very hard to set boundaries once they have it in their head that they can abuse you, they have to be set from day one.

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u/lycosa13 7d ago

Exactly. And it's unlikely they'll actually be fired because it would create even more of a headache for them in having to find and train a new employee.

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u/TheRealBarrelRider 7d ago

Genuine question: can't you just say that the amount of work they expect in a work day is not feasible? Like when I am at the office, I get up and leave at quitting time and I do the same when working from home. I just make sure to get enough work done for the day

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u/cappurnikus 7d ago Silver

The middle managers this person reports to almost certainly already knows that the workload is not feasible. They also know that upper management does not care and fear to lose their job if they speak up.

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u/TheRealBarrelRider 7d ago

Ok but what makes it different when it's working from home vs at the office? As in why do they expect more when he's at home?

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u/coffee_lover_777 7d ago

The particular managers I have would prefer we were in the office and they could look over our shoulders the entire day. So we have to do as MUCH as we can to over compensate being allowed to wfh.

Since covid is still running rampant at my company, all the office workers are still wfh.

I have meetings every morning with a country in another time zone so im online by 6am. My managers work till 6pm. They expect WAY more work than if we were in the office.

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u/cappurnikus 7d ago

It's not about being at home. They always want more.

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u/jklhasjkfasjdk 7d ago

Start applying to a new job now

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u/lurkerbelurking 7d ago

Time to look for a new job

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u/wagiwombledog 7d ago

Based. This is the way to play the system. Hope I can be in this situation one day.

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u/moonfleet1542 7d ago

Ditto this! Although I don’t mind working an odd day in the office, working primarily from home has been great. Commuting and going to the office every day was incredibly draining and I had no energy to do anything afterwards. Working from home has just overall brought my stress levels right down, without affecting my productivity.

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u/ja599 7d ago Silver Helpful All-Seeing Upvote

I am 22 and recently started my first full time job out of college and honestly working 8 hours a day every day and not having long school breaks is awful. Haven’t gotten used to it yet. I feel like I’m not “me” anymore because I don’t have time to invest in the things that make me happy. No advice here just wanting you to know you aren’t the only young person feeling this way.

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u/HellStoneBats 7d ago

not having long school breaks is awful.

I'm 31 and childless, and I still agree with this statement.

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u/LSDsavedmylife 7d ago

This is a huge reason why I work for a college. We get most of the breaks off of work and I am able to use PTO for them if I wish. It helps a ton with burnout, I highly recommend.

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u/Frosty-Egg-8000 7d ago

I went to apply for a colleges IT role and they wanted to pay $12/hr. Pass.

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u/EdwardCircumcizehand 7d ago

Our IT pays less, at least when I was in that market, for college. Was like 9/hr, librarians were 18/hr and did nothing compared to the IT people lol

I feel employers should have relevant experience in many things because the pay structure was backwards in a lot of ways

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u/Solistial 7d ago

Thank you. :) I hope you feel less alone too now. It also sucks that everyone went their separate ways once we graduated. DM me if you ever want to talk, or vent. I’m here.

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u/ja599 7d ago

It is so nice to know that it’s not just me having that culture shock of entering the work force. And I swear every adult in my life has forgotten how hard that transition is lol. Maybe it’s just a generational difference idk but I like reading through this thread of everyone relating to your post or giving advice.

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u/Ricky_Rollin 7d ago

I’m 37, not op btw. I think most people feel this way but I think that feeling has gotten worse among millennials on down to zennial or whatever y’all are called. We were gifted a monopoly board but the game had already been played 8 hours before you started and everywhere we land we owe someone a lot of money. It feels like we’re drowning and nobody sees this or wants to help.

I abhor our work life balance. It’s never 8 hours of play 8 hours of work and 8 hours of sleep like what was promised. Most of us work longer days and long commutes dip into our play time. We get no vacation and if you do there’s usually stipulations.

We’re all feeling despondent because we’re working hard and getting less.

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u/tina_specials 7d ago

Ur monopoly analogy is awesome I’m stealing that

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u/ja599 7d ago

That monopoly analogy is on point.

I generally do only work 8 hours. And sleep 8. But the 8 of play is so a lie. Commutes are apart of that. And so are other basic things like eating and showering and cleaning. By the time all that’s done I barely have any time to just figure out what I like to do.

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u/Zadalben 7d ago

I'm 23 and I leaved my first full time job after a week. While working there I first time in my life was actually depressed. The fact that I had to wake up in 7:00 drive 2 hours then work until 18:00 and drive back home 2 hours (or more) and litterely having around 3 hours before sleep really shaken me mentally. I was not feeling human and alive during that week. I know that payment was good but I still thought that I better spend time making me best version of myself while I can. This work culture is really turning us in to robots with only stagnation in our future.

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u/Fredredphooey 7d ago

A two hour commute is torture. I always rent so I can move with my job. I have lived anywhere from a five minute walk to a twenty minute drive, maximum, for the last twenty years and I'm sure that it has extended my life.

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u/Theobourne 7d ago

Hey, so I am 22 and about to graduate next year. I always imagined it would be terrible especially from my experience in boring big company internships. But I noticed that due to my parents hard work I have the opportunity to do what I want in terms of work. Normally I would start working after graduation but I think I am going to try and build my own business about something that aspires me. This post reminded me of what I really wanted. Thank you.

(We aren't that rich btw but I study CS so building a company requires less capital and more hardwork.)

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u/ja599 7d ago

One positive thing I do have to say about working is the stress of not having tests and homework is AMAZING. So not every aspect is bad :) Starting your own company is a great option, you could see if your college offers anything in entrepreneurship. I ended up getting an entrepreneurship certification that was only a few extra hours more than my degree. I may or may not use it in the future but it’s a good tool to have and looks great on a resume.

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u/SunlightFarm 7d ago

I remember feeling this way 100% when I took a full time job at 23. Felt like I’d sold my soul. Was in that cubicle for a year.

Then I got laid off and started teaching piano lessons to a friends kid for some extra money and 10 years later founded a music school and now I work exactly as much as I want doing what brings me meaning. This is not to brag. There are so many ways to design a fulfilling career If you are motivated and keep an eye out for outside the box opportunities you could create

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u/ja599 7d ago

I don’t plan on staying at this job forever… I hope to find something I’m a little more passionate about and that would lead into other things like you said your music lessons did.

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u/buttcrackfever 7d ago

I remember having a “life” crisis after college. It was so weird to not be in school anymore and that all I had to do with my life was work. It gets better after a few years (especially when you start making more money). I try to make sure I make plans to do things on my weekends instead of staying home. I’m 28 now and I’m really excited for how my life is going. I wouldn’t have imagined this 4 years ago.

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u/RicardoMayo_ 7d ago

Concerts and travels are what's keeping me sane. That way I have something to look forward.

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u/Woody_Harryishson 7d ago

No advice here just wanting you to know you aren’t the only young person feeling this way.

Young people?

Have fun feeling like that for most your life friendo.

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u/Intelligent-Lock-333 7d ago

Welcome to life as an adult

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u/ja599 7d ago

That’s what everyone in my life has been telling me. And it just makes me wonder why everyone just accepts this as normal and makes me question the meaning of my existence lol

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u/zystyl 7d ago

The raging existential dread quiets down to a simmer eventually. For what that's worth.

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u/jimmydarkmagic 7d ago

The older generation accepted it because it was actually a way to have a life. With a 40hr a week job you could afford a house two cars and be able to go on vacation every now and then. They don’t understand that it’s not that way anymore. Most people would be so happy if they could just do their meaningless job if it meant that they then got to go home to a home and have a decent life. Now people are working literally to survive. Once you pay bills good luck having enough for saving anything. Why has so much changed? My dad always tells me how he bought his first car for $75. The whole car. I can’t buy 1 tire for that much, why? How did prices go up so much and we get paid on average the same as 20-30 years ago? Again no one is asking to become rich working as a Walmart greeter but we are asking that the ceo maybe hold off on buying another yacht or private jet and disburse that wealth to the workers that make it all possible. What a dumb idea…

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u/tacosQ 7d ago

Honestly yes, you accept and get used to it.

I remember right after I started my first job I couldn't imagine working like this for more than a few years and bought lottery tickets frequently. But after about 2 years I got more responsibility which helped fill the day more and make it go by faster, and I just kind of got used to it. I'm 10 years in now and it isn't as soul crushing as it used to feel by far. I have a pretty fulfilling life and somewhat enjoy what I'm working on.

Not saying I wouldn't jump at a 4 day week or retire tomorrow if I could. Just saying I remember that feeling distinctly and you definitely adapt.

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u/Tarrabyte__ 7d ago edited 6d ago

I'm 29 it doesn't get any easier. Unless you have like a degree behind you or something where you can just go to and not worry about it, it just gets annoyingly harder. I mean imagine having to pay car insurance is $300, you have to pay $300 to your mom or whoever it is that you're renting a room from and you're only making about maybe $700 a month and then everyone says why don't you just save up? It's like you can't really save up when nobody will give you the chance of making more money. Trust me it's not easy unless they want to give you a chance

EDIT:

WAIT! My bad, I'm making 1200 a month, not 700, this was a minor error on my point. But even then, it's not easy trying to get by. I work 42h a week at $15.50. After taxes, I might see something like $1200.

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u/insaneintheblain 7d ago

It’s not easy with a degree either, you just get to apply for different positions, but you’re still getting fucked.

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u/Nepherephis 7d ago

When you get further into it and your free time is reduced even more you very quickly learn where your priorities lie. Just make sure your health and your family always come first and you will be fine.

Also, sometimes good work/life balance can be found in non standard careers and work hours. 9-5 with an hour commute is probably the worst way to do it.

Finally... Invest early, save early, buy property early. The longer you leave these things the harder it becomes to retire early. Kids can wait.

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u/Solistial 7d ago

Thank you so much for the positive outlook and sound advice. I needed this today. I will remember your words going forward (specifically going to hold back on those Black Friday purchases in the more immediate future).

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u/saph_pearl 7d ago

Yes this! I’ve spent my money on travel because life experiences are so important but also on property. I have a huge mortgage but at least I’m working to own something. It’s easy to say and not always easy to do though depending on where you live.

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u/philzebub666 7d ago

I try to spend my money responsibly. Last year I bought an appartment at 26. But sometimes I have to spend some money in ways that make me immediately happy. Like my PC and HiFi Setup for example. Otherwise it can get very straining to only work and never see an immediate return except for the numbers going up on the bank account.

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u/saph_pearl 7d ago

Totally. I love experiences and clothes. You have to enjoy life too. I don’t live as frugally as maybe I should but I like my lifestyle

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u/weeatbricks 7d ago

The good news is that you’ve figured it out young. I’m in my early 40s. It doesn’t get easier you just learn to endure it better.

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u/Solistial 7d ago

Appreciate the encouragement, thank you

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u/DickySchmidt33 7d ago Helpful

Save. Your. Money.

I'm 53 and I wish I would have heeded that advice 30 years ago.

Pay yourself first, then pay your bills.

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u/Solistial 7d ago Wholesome

Thank you. I will seriously keep this in mind. I was genuinely thinking of buying some new socks for Black Friday, but I think I’ll hold off.

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u/bondoh 7d ago

Saving is important but taking care of yourself is also important.

You are your first and most important investment. Buying socks is certainly not a waste of money if you need them and they would improve your life.

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u/medicmachinist38 7d ago

I promise you, adulting is way more fun when you have savings, no debt, and able to live comfortably within your means. I could write a long comment on how to save (and doing this when you’re young like you is SO important), but you’re way better off subscribing to r/personalfinance and reading their links on the main page. Best of luck to you, and don’t get too down on yourself about working hard. It can and does get better if you let it.

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u/somef00l 7d ago

Don't only save. Invest.

Contribute to an IRA outside of your work every month or invest in stock funds like the SP500 (an aggregate of 500 companies). Buy the stock symbol SPY to do this.

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u/sexy_femme5 7d ago edited 4d ago

100% This! A little now will go a long way tomorrow. My husband inherited some money when he was 17 and his grandfather died. It was like $5000. He used a little to buy himself something fun then put the rest in an IRA. At age 17. He has never once touched it since. Hasn’t added more money, hasn’t changed what it’s invested in. Nothing. He’s now 41 and that $5k is now $150k.

OP a little goes a long way!

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u/tanoren 7d ago

I think what they mean is instead of eating out 1-3+ times a week, save it and meal prep instead. You know, sacrificing "wants" to save. Socks are a necessity. Also if you need new socks, the best time to get them is when on sale.

You seriously need to learn the difference between needs and wants first or you're going to burn out quick and say fuck it to saving. Come on, you're smarter than that. Use common sense.

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u/williamtbash 7d ago

You can buy $5 socks they meant save money in general...

Like learn to cook don't eat out 5 times a week don't spend money on stupid things.

Buy those socks haha.

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u/banannabender 7d ago

Pay your bills first lol, save whatever is leftover.

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u/kuasha420 7d ago

Right? People seems to be living on fantasy land and giving out ludicrous advises.

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u/JackBlak 7d ago

You're just parroting 'Rich dad poor dad' without adding much context or original thought

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u/Jonelololol 7d ago

This is bad advice. Pay your bills and debts first. Otherwise they’ll fuck your credit and garnish your wages.

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u/throw_lolz 7d ago

Pay yourself first, then pay your bills.

Huh??? This does not compute??

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u/Rushanovic 7d ago

invest in index funds and a roth ira/401k

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u/Solistial 7d ago

Sound advice, thank you. Time to start building those savings first.

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u/Rushanovic 7d ago

No problem. I recently got into investing myself and so far, I've made some money in crypto and stocks, with stocks being more of an investment while crypto is like gambling. Reason for this is because i started thinking about my future and how i dont want to work 8-hour days till i turn 70.

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u/Dry-Crab-9876 7d ago

Do you understand how Roth IRA and 401k work? I’m 25 and still have no idea I just know they are like savings accounts? Don’t know how to determine how much $ to put in.. how does one “invest” in those? 🤨

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u/GoodIce7012 7d ago

For the 401k, I would put in just enough money to get the employer match. Here’s an example. If your employer matches 50% up to 6% of your paycheck, you should contribute 12% of your paycheck. Make sense? Ask your HR for your 401k portal. You can designate the 12% contribution or a flat dollar amount inside the portal.

If you still have money left, set up a Roth IRA and contribute up to $6k a year in that. You can set that up through the same portal as your 401k. Or use another investment firm like Vanguard, as Roth IRA isn’t tied to your employer.

If you still have money left over, open a personal investment account with Vanguard and buy index funds.

Some people say to max out the 401k, and that’s a personal decision really. I don’t do that because I don’t feel comfortable locking away my money and not being able to access it if needed.

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u/Unsounded 7d ago

Everyone person is different, this is generally good advice.

There’s a pretty good flowchart here: https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/comments/4gdlu9/how_to_prioritize_spending_your_money_a_flowchart/

Maxing a 401k out is a good idea because it reduces the amount of money that flies out the window to taxes. Not only do you get the money tax free if you wait to take it out (it’s basically index funds without the taxes to dumb it down) you also reduce your tax burden.

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u/alchemykrafts 7d ago

Wait until they convince you to work 7 days@ 12 hrs a day like my job in the film industry. Actually, just don’t become an adult, it’s a complete lie.

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u/tanoren 7d ago

I think most people would go to Neverland and become a Lost Boy if they could.

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u/Blacklion594 7d ago

wait until you find out the pirates were once lost boys who wanted to escape peter. Peter was so clung to the idea of staying young forever, that he would even kill the lost boys from time to time. The non disney, original peter pan story is FUCKIN DARRRRRK.

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u/kaen 7d ago

I thought the film industry had unions? Or is that for actors only?

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u/ElsieSimone 7d ago

they do but 12-14 hour days are still standard in the unions, you just get paid okay for it. you don’t get paid great though unless you have a higher position.

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u/willm92 7d ago

One of the longest days I’ve ever worked on set was 22 hours from my call time to taillights. Netflix show, unionized…

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u/ElsieSimone 7d ago

yup i’ve worked 18-20 hour days too. music video for one of the worlds biggest artists. the union when it comes to the film industry does not really regulate the length of days they can make you work. it regulates things like there must be 8 hours between getting off and next days call time, your generally paid time and a half over 8 hours, double time over 12 and in some unions you get your day rate again when you hit 14 or 16 or 18. the film industry is notorious for its inhumane hours, it’s one of the biggest things that crews are fighting to change today because it’s really not cool that just because you get the ‘honor’ of working in the film industry that you get zero work/life balance, cannot get a single thing done when working 12 hour days 5 or even 6 days a week. try making a doctors appointment or going to therapy or going to the bank when you work from 7am to 7pm monday through friday or saturday…i did it for years and while i thoroughly enjoyed major parts of it, the work life balance part was the worst thing ever.

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u/thnksqrd 7d ago

Adult work in the film industry

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u/Blacklion594 7d ago

i worked the bottom rung in vancouver becoming a grip before I left the industry, and my spouse is a board OP. The worst part of her job is the 4x13's leave her with 0 energy on days off. Ive basically become a househusband on top of my small WFH business because im the only one who can take care of our needs during business hours.

We want kids, but holy shit HOW?

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u/Cpt_Jiggit 7d ago

That's why I'm working a 75% job from day one. 100% 5 days per week plus calls is just insanely stupid to love with. I do not intend to live to work. Can only recommend

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u/xdarkeaglex 7d ago

What do You mean by this 75%

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u/picardpanda 7d ago

He works 5 hours per day 5 days a week instead of 8 hours or about 8 hours 4 days a week and one day off. He works 75% of a 40 hour week, he also gets paid 75% of a 100% job

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u/Casuallurker123 7d ago

As a 22 year old, I am also starting to have this same realization this year. Adulting is harddd. It doesn’t help that I have lost both of my parents recently so I can’t seem to turn to them and ask for advice, so it’s all up to me now. I feel like a lost puppy sometimes 😩

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u/singerisacrook 7d ago

My parents are still alive but I don't turn to them for help because I don't know how plus I'm not close to them.

I'm 23 and I'm lost. What I've learned is that you just need to pick up on bad experiences. Learn from them

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u/Casuallurker123 7d ago

It makes me feel a bit relieved to know that there’s a lot of us that are going through more or less the same ordeal. I guess we just learn as we go

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u/Trevoroakenfield 7d ago

Sorry about your parents, stay strong

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u/ak47oz 7d ago

This is why my goal is to have my own business - at least I’m working that hard for myself and not anyone else.

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u/LeoLaDawg 7d ago

Your whole life will become your job. You'll never escape work then, with the added benefit of all the stress.

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u/Generoh 7d ago

Why work a 9-5 when you can work 24/7?

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u/Solistial 7d ago edited 7d ago

I thought it was kind of silly when my friend said he wanted to be a business owner in 7th grade. I appreciate that response so much more now. At the very least you own your own time. Hope we can both work for ourselves one day. 💪🏼

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u/ak47oz 7d ago

I’m in my mid 20s and every person I’ve worked for owns a small business - if you have the opportunity, learn from such people. It’s the only way IMO unless you’re in a specific field such as tech, science, etc. It’s easy to get stuck in the middle.

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u/Scubawookie 7d ago

If you think you’re working hard now… don’t run your own business. Seriously. The amount of times I work all day every day would make you faint. There might be a way out by selling or succeeding but you’ll never work harder and longer.

Best think you can do is buy a place fast. Like, tomorrow if you can. It’s the only true way of building wealth for yourself.

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u/Kajinator 7d ago edited 7d ago

Yeah. My parents own a company. It's not too big, they only employ like 20 people. They definietly spend longer time working than most of their employes.

I also had a part time job this summer where I worked for a small ice cream complany (7 people, both making the ice creams from scratch and selling them). The owner and her right hand had almost no free time.

I think this is the case with most small bussinesses. Poeple often don't realize how much work is there to do.

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u/DCM53 7d ago

And this is just to keep your head above water. If you're got a bricks and mortar place and staff, that monthly nut has to be met before you can even think of taking a salary of any size. Add maintenance and taxes and utilities and it gets even bleaker. Employees will be the biggest issue though. They will come and go on a whim.

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u/firep00ps 7d ago

Why isn’t this upvoted more?

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u/SubvertingABan 7d ago

Yeah... When you own your own business, you'll never stop being on the clock.

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u/venecankid 7d ago

I did it a year ago because I am sick of working for an employer

Best decision ever!!!

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u/GentlemanThresh 7d ago

So you think 12-16 hours a day(INCLUDING WEEKENDS), sleepless nights, constant stress, ending up at a psychiatrist for constant headaches, etc. will be easier? On average you'll also lose money the first few years.

The chance you'll launch something that is self sustaining is close to 0.

1 "vacation" aka 2 days off nearly in 3 years, that's my personal experience.

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u/my_fat_monkey 7d ago

I work more to earn more to drink more so I can wake up tomorrow and work more.

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u/snickertink 7d ago

Shit, me too...

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u/ecish 7d ago

I made it two years of the 9-5 shit before I put everything I had into doing the same work, for more money, but as a freelancer/contractor. I’ll never go back.

Ya I still have to work if I don’t want to starve, but it’s just better overall. Sometimes the inconsistency of it can be scary, but it still always makes it worth it.

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u/KenaiUrsa 7d ago

Why do you think this kind of thing isn't talked about during school?

It's the trap of society. Only thing you can do is cling to your freetime and hope you get a job you enjoy.

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u/the-red-mage 7d ago

Op others may have mentioned this already but i cannot stress this enough. Figure out a retirement plan now so all your hard work pays off in the end. Make some investments. Trust me. Also if you can, find something you dont mind doing for the rest of your life.

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u/Far-Ad9143 7d ago

It’s miserable. I have an excellent job. I fucking hate working.

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u/rygo796 7d ago

I feel this. Money is good, overall excellent job. Just wish I generally didn't have to work, or at least I could work less.

In the professional world it tends to be all or nothing.

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u/sweetymonkey 7d ago

Yes, now imagine you get married and have kids.

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u/sausagelover79 7d ago

You do get used to it. I can still remember when I first started working full time at 18 and I couldn’t believe that was going to be the rest of my life (basically). But then somewhere in my late twenties I just kind of realised that I don’t mind it now, I like having somewhere to go each day and a purpose. If I didn’t I would probably never get out of bed tbh. It also helps to have a job you actually enjoy or at least tolerate. Going to job you absolutely hate each day is torture.

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u/tanoren 7d ago

This is something I realized during the pandemic. Humans don't necessarily need to work in our current sense per se, but we definitely need something to do and some sort of goal to work toward, and a routine, or what's the point?

When they put school online and dissolved my office during the pandemic there were spans of days I didn't even leave the house at all. I developed a routine on my own, but it was mostly a deja vu-inducing cycle of wake up, walk down the hall to the bathroom and look out the window, realize I had done that countless times before, get back in bed or go to the couch, get stoned, turn on the tv and find something to watch or a game to play, maybe draw, find something to eat eventually, take my dog on an hour or two long walk to campus or the park if I was feeling adventurous, get stoned a few more times between all that, go to bed, repeat, day in and out. Take away the walks during winter. And I wondered why, despite finally having so much free time, I was depressed.

It at least gave me somewhat of a renewed drive to find work I love or can tolerate post graduation, that and quitting weed entirely.

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u/Otterable 7d ago

The most miserable 9 months of my life was right after I graduated college and was trying to figure my life out. My days mostly consisted of playing video games, watching sports, kicking back a few beers in the evening, browsing reddit, and exercising.

I don't necessarily 'like' working. But the soul crushing ennui of have truly no responsibilities isn't the paradise people make it out to be. I felt more alone and depressed in those 9 months than any other point in my life.

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u/Worried_Lawfulness43 7d ago edited 7d ago

20 here, and sort of in the same boat you’re in. Very jarring to me to experience no more summer vacations, winter breaks or scheduled times off to enjoy yourself. Jobs also seem to expect a lot more of you than they even let you know at first.

Then again, I’m 20 years old and working in America, which is known for one of the worst work cultures globally… so yknow.

I’m planning on emigrating to the Netherlands, so I hope I get to experience something different.

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u/ja599 7d ago

The no vacations thing is hitting me hard. This is my first thanksgiving not having a whole thanksgiving break and it truly doesn’t even feel like a holiday. Jarring is a good description

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u/barandor 7d ago

Ha, just wait until next month. Christmas is on a fucking Saturday and Sunday this year and so is New Years. No days off for anybody.

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u/coherentpa 7d ago

Most professional businesses will recognize the closest weekday because it’s a federal holiday. Actually makes my holiday weekend longer.

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u/KrazyMack 7d ago

dont you guys have paid vacation days in the US? And if you do, how much ?

i live in western Europe and get 20 paid vacation days and 120 hours off (also paid) that i can spread however i want. And i only have to work 39 hours a week so its kinda allright

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u/Happy_Each_Day 7d ago

Vacation time isn't legally mandated or standardized in the US. It varies from company to company, and can even vary from job to job within the same company.

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u/RFLC1996 7d ago

That sounds fucking dystopian, I've got 25 paid work days off a year and I get bank holidays for free (UK)

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u/[deleted] 7d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

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u/RFLC1996 7d ago

Live to work, die to feed the worms

The American Dream

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u/TheBoredIndividual 7d ago

What that other guy said, adding that many companies don't give it, and ones that do give very little at first. You need to work for many years to eventually get 4 weeks off, if that's even possible at the company you work for.0

I recently started a new job as an electrician. After 4 months I have 12 hours vacation pay. Won't even be one full week after a year.

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u/TheFlyinGiraffe 7d ago

Welcome to the fold brother. I'm a union electrician and we only got mandated sick time in like... 2017 and we all so nervous to use it at first. We weren't sure if it was really ours to use or not. Turns out, it really is our time so we do use it.

Unfortunately, we're capped at 40 hours a year and accure 1 hour per 32 hours worked. Yeah, we get paid really well but taking time off is still a REALLY calculated event. Also, classic "use it or lose it". They roll over to cap at 80 hours of time, but it doesn't matter because you can only use 40 hours on a year...

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u/ExgayAlex 7d ago

I think this is a key point. When I worked in the USA, I got one week of vacation per year, and that was after one year of employment. I did that for 10 years and it was grinding. When I moved back to Europe, it was hard to take two weeks in a row; I felt so guilty. But I am used to it now. i get 25 paid vacation days, plus holidays. I live for the three weeks in a row I take in August and another week here and there and the half of December. It makes it so much more tolerable. I think the US work culture is insane.

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u/KrazyMack 7d ago

I got one week of vacation per year, and that was after one year of employment

What?! Thats crazy! I couldn't imagine not to be able to take a day off for an entire year

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u/benadrylpill 7d ago

Now you know why everyone is miserable.

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u/Arielcinderellaauror 7d ago

I work every other weekend and have Thursdays off apparently every Thursday after my 6 days on I'm ill. Currently ill right now (sore throat, legs ache, sweating like fuck going from hot to cold). I don't know how other people at work do double shifts been doing this a year now.

The best part I don't even mind my job, like I don't like it but I can tolerate it yet it seems working all the time makes me sick.

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u/thecratedigger_25 7d ago

I can understand that. And unfortunately, it takes many years to discover a career path that you can do while enjoying it but it takes extra time to study and do varying amount of menial tasks in between depending what the requirements ask for.

For commuting, maybe bike commuting could work to increase the energy levels a bit more but it takes training to do it. Although, it would be a good step to potentially increase the energy level enough to where it'll pay dividends once you do stuff on the side.

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u/PedroAlvarez 7d ago

Shitty Pro tip, start by working 60 hour weeks then scale back to 40 so it feels like relief

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u/Alicex13 7d ago

I miss being a teen. I wanted to work , I wanted to be an adult. But I really really miss waking up and not giving a shit about anything that day. Not having my first thought be- have to set up breakfast, the dog needs to pee, if I don't hurry I'll be late with my work, deadline in three days, out of laundry detergent, no time to go to the store. I miss the days my grandma would bring me breakfast in bed and I could just lay and watch tv because it was Saturday. She's the best woman ever and I should go visit her this month after\If I manage to meet my deadline.

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u/Notquite_Caprogers 7d ago

I work 4 days a week ten hours a day. This is my first job. It's exhausting. I usually sleep 8-10 hours too so I have 4 hours to my day for non work/sleep. It's really hard because I'm doing online school too (hoping to get into IT because I already know my body won't handle being a structures mechanic forever). The weekend is good though. I have enough time to hang out with my boyfriend, do my homework, fuck around on sims and get my necessary chores done.

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u/EvolvingEachDay 7d ago

Yeah how come we get less than a third of our days alive off work. It’s disgusting.

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u/Solistial 7d ago

It’s crazy if you think about it. Wish there was another way. But we’re all gonna make it. 💪🏼

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u/aquariiandromedae 7d ago

I work 5 shifts. I usually have 0-3 hours of free time before I have to go to bed.

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u/SPZX 7d ago

Haha barely in the door and my guy is ready to eat the rich. Good shit.

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u/yujinli 7d ago

This is why I'm a freelancer. I'm also a teacher as well so I don't earn much. But I am not dying of working.

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u/athenae99 7d ago

Lol welcome to adulting, OP! I am about 15 years in and it still sucks!

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u/ingrown_hair 7d ago

I always thought I’d work FT and play gigs at night. I was shocked at how tired I was after working all day. Then I had a family and things really got busy. Now I’m in my fifties, my kids are basically grown and when I finish my work day I think, “l what am I going to do the next 6 hours until I got to bed?”

It gets better.

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u/Starlined_ 7d ago

My dad is a doctor and he literally gets no free time and it makes me worry about him. Sometimes he’ll get called in to work at like 3am and he’ll miss important events cause he’s working. Even when he is home he has to work on echocardiograms and notes

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u/wonkyllusion 7d ago

M22 - in the same boat as you.

Now add the fact that you moved out and have to take care of all your adult resposibilities(doctor appointments, getting groceries, cleaining your appartment).

It basically boils down to a couple of hours a day, weekends and 30 days holiday a year. Thats all you exist for.

And I am already so fed up about it. As I was discusing this with a friend recently, he said, that he somewhere read, that 40hrs/week was originally designed for a man that has a family to feed, while his wife was at home taking care of kids and the home without any additional income...

And all the money thats left after the hard work is taxed. Taxes, taxes, taxes. I understand the concept of taxes and I think it's really great and beneficial, if done correctly. But where I live you have to pay taxes for mostly everything while the news constantly report about burnt tax-money, exploits, and very very dumb decision about using it. Sometimes even corrupt politicans just shift tax-money from there to there and go unnoticed? And this is what makes me angry. Like, if you cant handle my fucking money and just waste it, leave it to me. Thanks.

And then there is also inflation. Sometimes, your salary raise doesnt even cope the inflation in that time-period, so you arent getting any more value out of your "raise". But thats now always the case, of course.

My solution: I am looking for something that I can monetize decently and use it as a passive income so I can cut back on my regular job. E.g. selling art-assets for videogames: You make them once, and they will sell forever(if they are good of course). Of course its not stable, but its better than nothing I guess.

Overall it really didnt age well. Noticed all the complaints about the "hamster wheel" as a kid and yeah, didnt take long into adulthood to fully understand and feel that concept.

Its exhausting.

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u/Robots_Never_Die 7d ago

30 days holiday a year

You get 1 week if you're lucky in the USA.

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u/MrOdekuun 7d ago

My coworkers going on and on about how we were so fortunate to have 10 days a year (+5 after a decade if you lasted that long) drove me crazy.

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u/dumbwaeguk 7d ago

Everyone is lazy. Laziness is normal and healthy. People want time to themselves, and we can't get it because the world is structured around employment and chores.

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u/KurayamiShikaku 7d ago

The good news is that it gets better. The bad news is that it gets better in the kind of way where you get more used to it, and not the kind of way where the situation itself improves (for most people, anyway).

I still remember this feeling for myself. The first thing I noticed was that, compared to college, 8 straight hours (not including commute or breaks) was torture. It was something I was used to as a student from elementary through high school (and also with summer jobs), but after 4 years of college it was difficult to take such a dramatic step backwards in lifestyle. Eventually, I readjusted, but I still think a 6 hour day would allow me to be way more focused and efficient. Maybe it's just me, but 6 hours is right around the time where I normally go from engaged to "running out the clock," though of course that depends on the specific work I'm doing and how engaging it is.

Some time, several months into my career, it suddenly dawned on me that summer no longer meant a break. It was just more of the same. Forever. That was also rough.

I'm extremely fortunate to actually have a job with strong PTO benefits now, but for a lot of people that is just something they'll never have. When, exactly, are we supposed to live our lives without that?

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u/Detective-Jerkop 7d ago

Stay pissed off and keep bitching about it!!!! I can't believe the shit I went through at your age and they manipulated me into accepting it. Now much older I realize this shit is unacceptable and unnecessary! I have a burning hatred for the people and systems that tricked me.

Save your generation!

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u/username59046 7d ago

Hello fellow gen x person

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