r/PublicFreakout Oct 13 '21 Starstruck 1 To The Stars 1 Helpful 8 Wholesome 8 LOVE! 1 Crab Rave 1 Silver 9 Gold 1 Hugz 11

Yeah, you're a fool! 👮Audit Freakout

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2.4k

u/eeyore134 Oct 13 '21 Silver

That cop's voice got higher and higher as he knew he was digging himself deeper and deeper. But at no point did those little neurons fire to tell him hey, maybe apologize and quit doubling down.

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u/Deleena24 Oct 13 '21

Apologizing on film means they're openly admitting to violating policies, which forces the hand of their superiors. They're trained to never admit any type of fault, even if it's blatantly obvious.

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u/big617isaac Oct 13 '21

this is actually 100% true and not just for police, my parents and driving school teacher both told me if I ever got in an accident to never say sorry or admit fault for insurance reasons. similarly at my grocery store that i work at i was told by coworkers never to apologize or admit fault to customers. apologizing is meaningless in the professional adult world apparently

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u/Poliobbq Oct 14 '21

Seems like a good bedrock for a functional society.

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u/mondaymoderate Oct 14 '21

Yeah I hate that shit. It takes a mature person to apologize and we are teaching people to be assholes who never admit fault. I apologize all the time to my customers and I never have had an issue. People love the ol “I apologize for the inconvenience.” and it can defuse so many tense situations.

These people would rather fight with a Karen then defuse a situation with a simple apology all because their egos won’t let them admit fault for some reason.

The insurance thing is understandable but if it’s your fault then you should apologize. What are you going to do? Lie to your insurance company because you don’t want to admit fault? That’s why everyone has a dashcam now.

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u/JakobeBryant19 Oct 14 '21

I 100% especially when it comes to working with customer and the public.

But as a Canadian I feel like I'd be screwed in the car accident situation because I say sorry naturally sometimes at the end of sentences when I don't need to lol

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u/GiantPurplePeopleEat Oct 14 '21

Fortunately, Canada has law that specifically allows you to apologize, without assuming liability. It’s the most Canadian law ever.

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u/CorruptedStudiosEnt Oct 14 '21

Apologies are such a vaguely defined thing situationally anyway, it's stupid for it to be used in any legal context let alone admission of fault. There are people who apologize when somebody bumps into them for fucks sakes lol.

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u/Toxicair Oct 14 '21

Aptly named the apology act https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/09a03

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u/Admirable_Loss4886 Oct 15 '21

Holy shit I thought they were joking, thank you!

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u/imatree Oct 14 '21

I mean, Canada and literally every other country except America.

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u/overturf600 Oct 14 '21

This is the best thing I have heard in days. That’s awesome!

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u/AlabasterOctopus Oct 14 '21

I’m convinced the two basic trains of thought for all human kind are this, either the cannot admit fault or sees no issue admitting fault. It’s scary when you see how deep it goes.

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u/stomach Oct 14 '21

i get your point, i really do. but the 'no apologies' rule is a rule to live by now. lawyers have worked tirelessly to make society suck balls, and now that there are cellphone cameras filming everything it's not wise to admit fault. especially when ONE cellphone camera can tell a different story than TWO cellphone cameras (remember the debacle posted a few days ago with the lambo and the girl who got 'caught' lying about who hit who?)

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u/justqnotherthrowaway Oct 15 '21

Can you link me to it?

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u/AnjingNakal Oct 14 '21

In the context of an accident, the advice not to admit fault is because it's a high tension situation and emotions can be running high. You may say things that you don't mean to, so the priority is to ensure everyone is ok and safe, and then swap insurance details - that's it.

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u/hipery2 Oct 14 '21

People love the ol “I apologize for the inconvenience.”

Do people really like it? I always translated it to mean, "sucks to be you".

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u/mondaymoderate Oct 14 '21

Yeah some people love it. Especially the people who like to complain. They think they get something by you apologizing. I don’t get it but I’m not one of those people.

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u/daaaaawhat Oct 14 '21

Can someone who’s been in an accident before weigh in on this? Do people involved just always blame the other person, even if it’s obvious?

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u/QueViva Oct 14 '21

The back of my insurance card says ‘don’t admit fault’ but when I got into a minor fender bender, I still apologized and took responsibility. I can be an asshole sometimes, but I’m not about to be an asshole when I’m clearly in the wrong

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u/No_ThisIs_Patrick Oct 14 '21

I got in a large accident on a highway. Insurance took my version of the events but the cops didn't even ask. The scene laid out was pretty obvious (For reference I was like the 4th car in a chain of cars one guy hit). But I do probably think people try and lie about it when they can.

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u/zViperAssassin Oct 14 '21

Well I got into an accident after this lady ran a stop sign and I t-boned her. She was apologetic and admitted it was her fault in person but left the scene before the police arrived and later tried to claim that she didn't run that stop sign and that I was drunk when I hit her. This was annoying because if I wasn't able to get the security footage from a nearby building then I would have likely never gotten a dime from insurance. Also my car was totaled so that would have been a real bummer.

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u/cosmoose Oct 14 '21

We need that sweet sweet tort reform.

1

u/WonkyWombat12 Oct 14 '21

Yeah, the fact that an apology at a car crash is an admission of guilt and that shit is so stupid

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u/cortthejudge97 Oct 14 '21

Yeah if I remember correctly Canada has a law where you can't automatically be at fault just for saying sorry in a car accident, since they say sorry so much

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u/showponies Oct 14 '21

Can confirm. When I was 17 I T-boned a guy running a red light. I felt so bad about hitting him all I could say was I'm sorry over and over. The police eventually showed up, took license and insurance information from me and the other driver, and said I could pick up all info at the station the next day. When I got it there was a citation in there for me failing to stop at a stop light. I challenged it and was explaining things to the magistrate and when I said the police showed up after the accident occurred he stopped me and said "wait so the officer wasn't present to witness the collision?" And I told him no, and he said "then how could he know what color the light was?" And he threw out the ticket. The cop was clearly taking a shot at me just accepting and paying the ticket, just because I said sorry and they took that as an implicit admission of guilt. Learned a good lesson that day.

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u/literal-hitler Oct 14 '21

he stopped me and said "wait so the officer wasn't present to witness the collision?" And I told him no, and he said "then how could he know what color the light was?" And he threw out the ticket.

My old teacher told me a story about the time her and her husband were driving motorcycles, and the cop gave them both a ticket for speeding. When they went to fight it the judge stopped her and said "wait, so you were both on separate motorcycles and were pulled over at the same time?" She verified and the judge threw out the tickets because both tickets said they were the only vehicle on the road at the time.

Always challenge tickets.

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u/antwan_benjamin Oct 14 '21

I read somewhere that they had to make it a law in Canada that saying "I'm sorry" doesn't necessarily mean admitting guilt since they're so used to apologizing all the time.

I think the US should do the same. If I get in a car accident...even if its not my fault I still might say "I'm sorry." I'm not saying "I'm sorry I did this to you" I'm saying "I'm sorry this happened." 2 completely different meanings.

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u/Das_bomb Oct 14 '21

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u/I_upvote_downvotes Oct 14 '21

This is relieving to read as an Ontarian who says sorry for a lot of meaningless bullshit.

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u/JamesGray Oct 14 '21

36 US states actually have some sort of "Apology Law" that makes it not evidence of guilt to apologize as long as you don't directly admit guilt in your apology.

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u/antwan_benjamin Oct 14 '21

Is that criminal or civil?

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u/JamesGray Oct 14 '21

I'm not quite sure, someone just told me off for mentioning the Canadian law thing one time, and I confirmed by looking it up. Looks like it's definitely for civil issues from the fact it apparently originated from medical malpractice suits.

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u/antwan_benjamin Oct 14 '21

Makes sense. Thanks for looking it up.

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u/ihadanoniononmybelt Oct 14 '21

Yeah, it’s ridiculous that they haven’t already. People can get very aggressive after an accident, even violent, and people should be able to say anything they need to diffuse the situation without it being held against them legally. If I have to say “you’re right, it was my fault, I’m sorry” to stop a maniac from attacking me, that should in no way make me legally liable for something that’s not my fault. Saying sorry making you at fault is honestly one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard.

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u/TruthEnvironmental24 Oct 14 '21

Brooklyn 99 did a great episode on this. The Union rep shows up for this episode and literally freaks out over a cop using the S-word. I didn't realize how spot on it was until now though.

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u/PhoneticIHype Oct 14 '21

neither of these things are like the cop situation. Cop could apologize for being a dick and that'd be it since he wasn't illegally detaining anyone or what have you.

When it comes to insurance, apologizing is legally admitting fault which FUCKS you over if you were not at fault and are just an apologetic person (its natural for people to apologize and build cohesion in accidents or such). Leave that up to the police and insurance to determine fault.

Same thing with "never talk to the police". Yeah you're a good person who never does crime but telling them ANYTHING gives them a lot of fucking ammunition against you, and you can indirectly tell them something that might put you on the hook. look up "why you should never talk to the police" it's about an hour long lecture on youtube. Everyone should watch it.

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u/[deleted] Oct 14 '21

[deleted]

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u/emveetu Oct 14 '21 edited Oct 14 '21

I think that it may be about a power differential. Don't apologize if you may be in a more vulnerable position than the other party or if you may open yourself up to liabilities.

But if you're on a team, then apologizing for a fuck up is usually the way to go. My mom was an independent database developer and she would purposely screw up, fix it for free, and tell the client that she screwed up and fixed it no charge because it fosters trust. And if your client trusts that you have their best interest at heart, the working relationship is much more communicative and positive, which ultimately benefits the client as well.

Edit: I often say that manipulation doesn't always have to have a negative connotation within the context of human behavior. For example, her manipulation was for good. Just like manipulating your friend to go to rehab is for their own good.

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u/klutch14u Oct 14 '21

Wow. Your mom purposely screwed up, then fixed her purposely done screw up for "free" and then handed this "trust" building technique to her kid as a life lesson? Maybe she she list that as a special skill on her resume.

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u/emveetu Oct 14 '21 edited Oct 14 '21

To be fair, I'm not a kid and I wasn't a kid when she shared with me. I was in my early 20's. I'm on the far side of my mid forties right now.

She's my inspiration and hero. When my parents divorced in 1985, she got a job selling Apple computers at a very small retail store. The owners soon realized there was money to be made off consulting to develop Filemaker databases, which generally sells more than MSAccess as a standalone, not part of MSOffice. People would buy it off the shelf and then be completely stuck in baffled and come back into the store asking for help. The store went under because of bad management but she continued developing.

She is 77 and just retired last year after being an independent FileMaker database developer for over 40 years. She was developing starting at version 1.0 and it's now at version 19.0. She often was consulted when beta versions came out, and she won the final maker excellence award at least one of those years. She is brilliant; she had a full ride to Brown, unfortunately now she's got pretty progressive dementia.

She is a total inspiration to me because I am now a woman in IT and because of her, I was not afraid to jump in with both feet.

Edit: But I am a kid because I'm her kid.

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u/stinkytrinket Oct 14 '21

My SIL only advice is to shit your pants

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u/ChoppedAlready Oct 14 '21

Only time it’s worked for me was when I rear ended a guy in his beat up van while driving delivery. I didn’t hit him hard at all but just a little thud from not realizing the turn lane wasn’t accelerating to what I thought. We both got out, I apologized immediately and said how sorry I was and there was no damage on either car. He was just a really chill old guy and totally understood and we both went on our way. Coulda gone much worse but he understood the hassle of it all and saw I meant well and made a mistake.

I returned the favor later that year when I got backed into while driving through a parking lot. Kid did the same thing and apologized, we exchanged info just in case but my car was a beater so I never did anything about it even though there was some light damage. I now realize I could have been screwed in either scenario by someone out to get my paycheck

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u/Particular-Estate-75 Oct 14 '21

Apologizing in the adult world isn’t meaningless, unfortunately, quite the opposite. It is loaded with meaning and fault, and has legal consequences in certain conditions.

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u/Das_bomb Oct 14 '21

Funny enough in Ontario “sorry” is not an admission of guilt as “sorry” is part of our lexicon and is just something we say even if we’re the victim.

https://www.ontario.ca/laws/statute/09a03

It’s even called the Apology Act.

Sorry about that.

1

u/SeaworthinessSea3838 Oct 14 '21

No way. I apologize strategically a lot professionally, but then again, I’m a consultant. We provide a big service to our corporate clients by taking the blame. Everybody wins.

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u/DaedeM Oct 14 '21

The idea of people suing over everything just seems so ridiculously stupid, and honestly discriminatory against the poor.

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u/Jbrehm Oct 14 '21

It's different in medicine and nursing. We're taught from early in our education to directly confront our mistakes right away and apologize to our patients. It tells our patients that we can be trusted to always being honest with them, even when it's our fuck up.

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u/zahzensoldier Oct 14 '21

Does anyone else have proof that this is the case? I've always expected it was bullshit that's been passed down because I've never seen anything that confirms that it can be used against you in court.

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u/mjs710 Oct 14 '21

Yea I work in construction, my boss tells us to never take the blame for anything

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u/andrewsaccount Oct 14 '21

I'm pretty sure this is mainly an American thing. I hope I'm wrong, but I don't think I am. I don't think other countries afford that much personal liability based on a phrase.

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u/KPIH Oct 14 '21

Why not say sorry??? Are they going to tell their insurance "they even said sorry!"

Ahhh case closed!! It's your word against theirs. You can also say they said sorry. How can you prove that?

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u/big617isaac Oct 14 '21

If said to or around a police officer, it would be put in some report im guessing

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u/brynleehollis Oct 14 '21

meh. i don’t see the point of not admitting when its obviously my fault. i totaled my car running into a truck as a stupid 17 year old. i apologized and cried and he told me to sit in his car while i waited for my friend to pick me up because it was raining. he never called the cops and we just exchanged insurances and parted ways.

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u/Starwarsandbacon Oct 14 '21

Yup, they will also take any apology on your part as an admission of guilt, even if youre just trying to say sorry for the fart you saved for them.

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u/[deleted] Oct 15 '21

They recently changed it I believe but in the past an apology could be considered an admission of guilt and enough to rule against someone.