r/AskReddit Dec 01 '21 Helpful 3 Wholesome 6 Silver 2

Your worst enemy can only eat one kind of food for the rest of their life. What do you choose for them?

6.8k Upvotes

7.6k

u/hegotjoojooeyeball Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome

Hirabo Sugarfree Gummy Bears

2.2k

u/edlee98765 Dec 02 '21 Take My Energy

I used to read the hilarious Amazon reviews for these when I was feeling down. I can't seem to find the product page with all the reviews anymore. I can find individual reviews though, but they don't seem to link back to the main page anymore.

2.6k

u/davelicious123 Dec 02 '21 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Bravo! Brighten My Day

510

u/thegreenbell Dec 02 '21

Within 15 minutes of consuming these high powered laxatives, my stomach was making noises that I should have seen as a message from God warning me, “You should turn back around and go home.”

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u/murrion Dec 02 '21

“Do not trust your farts” ☠️☠️☠️

33

u/phormix Dec 02 '21

Haven't had those gummy bears but I definitely have had moments like these.

I've also heard it described as "every fart is a gamble"

270

u/rosehamler Dec 02 '21

That was amazing. Testament to “the best writing is written in pain” these poor people are quotable af.

509

u/yogacowgirlspdx Dec 02 '21

that was hilarious! my gut hurts from laughing

103

u/stringer98 Dec 02 '21

Legit got me in tears the reviews are soo consistent

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u/travel_nerdiness Dec 02 '21

From the laughing or the bears? This is a safe space...you can be honest

70

u/yogacowgirlspdx Dec 02 '21

well now i’m laughing from your comment!

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u/_luv-bug_ Dec 02 '21

Oh. My. God. I needed this laugh

101

u/Plantdas Dec 02 '21

"stick to maybe 2 at a time, you have been warned"

24

u/mr-nefarious Dec 02 '21

You da real MVP

86

u/VerityParody Dec 02 '21

Omg thank you!

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u/lmason115 Dec 02 '21

The reviews are true. Two of my roommates in college either didn’t believe them or wanted to test it for themselves, so they split a pretty big bag between the two of them. They were shitting for DAYS because the idiots (I say affectionately) ate SO MANY at once

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u/Winterplatypus Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

There's also a bunch of funny reviews for a harry potter nimbus 2000 broom stick that vibrates.

“When my 12-year-old daughter asked for this Nimbus 2000 vibrating broomstick for her birthday, I kind of wondered if she was too old for it, but she seems to LOVE it. Her friends love it too! They play for hours in her bedroom with this great Harry Potter broomstick toy. They really seem to like the special effects it offers (the sound effects and vibrating). My oldest daughter (17) really likes it too! I recommend this for all children.”

36

u/Badloss Dec 02 '21

Dont forget the banana slicer

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u/miss_kimba Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

Fuck, what a laugh. And relatable - I bought two 90g bags of sugar free lollies and thought “consequence free lollies!” and ate both entire bags at once.

I honestly believed I was going to have a prolapse.

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u/Illustrious-Science3 Dec 02 '21

Read the review for milk of magnesia. And, he's not wrong (source - me).

[Milk of Magnesia review ]

(https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8014373/Mans-hilarious-account-drinking-ENTIRE-bottle-saline-laxative-goes-viral.html)

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u/twitchy_taco Dec 02 '21 Bravo Grande!

I ate a pound once because I wanted to see if the stories were true. I proceeded to shit my brains out for 12 hours. By the end I was shooting liquid poo out my ass and had to jump into the shower to clean myself because my butthole was too raw for even wet wipes. -1000/10 never again. God, I was stupid in my 20's.

323

u/the_leprechauns_anus Dec 02 '21

Was it rainbow colored? That might be worth it.

254

u/WishBear19 Dec 02 '21

User name checks out.

9

u/InukChinook Dec 02 '21

Staring from the front, a leprechauns anus is after his lucky charms.

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u/Sublime_Dino Dec 02 '21

Perhaps I need this. I’ve been constipated for days.

440

u/twitchy_taco Dec 02 '21 Take My Energy

Lemme tell you, clearing constipation with sugar free gummy bears is like watering your garden with a firehose. It's overkill and people will end up hurt.

117

u/Sublime_Dino Dec 02 '21

Lol. Ugh I am so miserable. I have some serious Gi issues that I’m being seen for. The comment was largely supposed to be comical but I can’t help but wonder… anything but feeling constipated

115

u/Nobodyville Dec 02 '21

If you want to simulate the same feeling of ruining your life with sugar free gummy bears but without the deliciousness of candy , may I suggest you drink a bottle of magnesium citrate? It tastes terrible and will make you shit a waterfall! Drink a lot of water with it.

36

u/Sublime_Dino Dec 02 '21

I’m gonna get a bottle tomorrow. I’m miserable . Thank you

121

u/jtherion Dec 02 '21

JFC don't drink the whole bottle. Take a shot of the stuff. Wait two hours. If nothing happens, take another shot. Repeat as necessary. Hydrate throughout. Unless you're cleaning your digestive system for surgery there is no need to turn your colon into an Olympic luge event.

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u/TraveledAmoeba Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

My sympathies, friend. If you're in the U.S., try MiraLAX. It's odorless, tasteless, and you can increase the dose if you need to. You should be able to get it at most pharmacies.

A tiny bit will get things moving (gently), but a large amount (like, the whole bottle) is now being used by hospitals for colonoscopy prep, because it's far gentler than the once-used Barium or even magnesium citrate. It tastes better, too — just dissolve it in juice or water. I'd say that if it's being used for colonoscopy prep, it will obviously do the job for you.

Feeling bloated like that is miserable. Hoping you feel better soon!

ETA: Do be careful if you decide to go the Magnesium Citrate route. Too much of it can cause dangerous electrolyte imbalances, because magnesium levels help regulate electrical conductivity in the heart. Miralax isn't as dangerous, I don't think.

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u/Pristine_Quarter_213 Dec 02 '21

I can vouch for this. Got super constipated when I was a little kid, mom had me drink a bottle of that stuff. We got the lemon flavor so it was like drinking super-sour lemonade. The amount of poop that came out of me is something I don't think I'll ever forget 😂

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u/DrRoborknik Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

That diarrhea will get you seeing the meaning of the universe.

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u/Steinbengal Dec 02 '21 Take My Energy

I’m obligated to share this classic video anytime sugar free haribos are mentioned

15

u/Beagle-Breath Dec 02 '21

I love that it takes him two hours to be like “ohhhh this was a stupid idea”

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '21

Back in 2013, a coworker of mine put a 10lb jar of (regular) Haribo gummy bears on his desk, telling everyone they were welcome to them. The jar was practically empty within the same month. The guy said nothing to any of us, and instead went to our manager and filed a complaint that we were all "stealing" from him, crocodile tears and everything.

A few of us decided that the guy was unstable and we would refill the jar for him... with sugar-free gummy bears. And so we did. We also knew not to eat them.

Sure enough, the guy plopped down his his chair like he had won some imaginary war, took a handful of the things and ate them in full view like he had got one in on us. He completely blasted his pants out by the end of the day and didn't know why. Those things work fast. They had to throw his office chair away.

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u/moonchildsarah Dec 02 '21

Definitely best answer, lol

95

u/GozerDGozerian Dec 02 '21

Found Satan’s Reddit account.

10

u/No-Feature3329 Dec 02 '21 Silver

dude try albanese gummy bears

SO F*CKING GOOOOOD! they have such vivid flavor!!

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1.7k

u/SquirrellyPumpkin Dec 02 '21 Take My Energy

Shrimp. He’s allergic.

363

u/Devreckas Dec 02 '21

Sounds a bit like a mercy killing to me. They’ll never live to despise shrimp.

94

u/NetflixAndZzzzzz Dec 02 '21

They’ll really despise it exactly once.

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u/Milodragovitch Dec 02 '21 Silver

Lukewarm oversalted mayonnaise

1.3k

u/TriumphDaytona Dec 02 '21 Silver

You mean fresh jizz?

404

u/Pleather_Boots Dec 02 '21

How did it take 6 hours for someone to say this ?

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u/PhDinDildos_Fedoras Dec 02 '21

A kind of cum vampire, then?

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u/Aluckysj Dec 02 '21

Aside from balut, this is the most evil answer on the list.

146

u/DeluxeTea Dec 02 '21

I'd rather eat balut, honestly.

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3.1k

u/SnooMaps7101 Dec 01 '21

Simple. The hottest pepper around, that way it sucks going in, and coming out.

764

u/Hawk13424 Dec 02 '21

Would probably kill them eventually.

525

u/The_Blue_Bomber Dec 02 '21

I mean, same goes for most other things on here. Malnutrition will kill, just on an extended time table.

23

u/pointprep Dec 02 '21

I think the worst thing that wouldn’t kill you is probably nutriloaf. It’s nutritionally complete!

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u/MsNobody22 Dec 02 '21

Ghost peppers. I'm glad I'm not your biggest enemy.

296

u/OldBookSmellz Dec 02 '21

Jeez man. That’s like 30 calories per pepper. You’d have to eat about 66 ghost peppers A DAY to survive based on a 2000 calorie intake

322

u/idontknow2976 Dec 02 '21

I think you’d actually just fucking die

67

u/Angry10 Dec 02 '21

Probably after the second pepper

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u/Derwinx Dec 02 '21

Governments would crumble at your sheer force of will; sure it was difficult at first, the average person likely would have died, but not you. Once you built up a tolerance, after a few weeks of eating 66 ghost peppers a day, the flavours you used to love now feel meaningless compared to the glory of your newfound palate.

You eat 43 ghost peppers at an emergency world summit before a unanimous vote declares you the Supreme Leader of the first world government, on the condition that you don’t finish your day’s allotment of peppers in front of them. Your farts alone are now considered a WMD.

Congratulations, you can now do as you will with the world for the last 4 ½ months you have to live before dying of malnutrition, don’t waste it!

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u/Ok_Soil_231 Dec 02 '21

Carolina reapers are wayyy hotter

Source: my asshole when they came out

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u/VanGarrett Dec 02 '21

Apollo Pepper is twice as hot as the reaper.

There's another 'Pepper X' that's believed to be hotter than the Apollo, but last I checked, it's unconfirmed.

150

u/SuperPotatoPancakes Dec 02 '21

I can't believe I've fallen behind on pepper news.

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u/LittleSpice1 Dec 01 '21

Surströmming.

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u/SharpSteak21 Dec 02 '21

Well they say it is an acquired taste, after all

55

u/NotATroll_ipromise Dec 02 '21

Is that the rotting fermented shark/fish stuff?

76

u/HackOddity Dec 02 '21

Surströmming is rotting fermented herring. Taking the lid of the can made me vom. The actual taste isn't that bad but the smell is traumatizing.

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u/homepup Dec 02 '21

There it is.

I knew Satan would show up in this thread somewhere.

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u/LaPlataPig Dec 01 '21

Cinnamon powder

618

u/MsNobody22 Dec 02 '21

Whoa, they're gonna starve AND try to survive by eating bitter powder for the REST OF THEIR LIVES? I thought my selection of food was bad.

159

u/Fox-with_socks Dec 02 '21

Well the rest of their life would not be very long, so yes

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u/wittytrixter Dec 02 '21

Cinnamon overdose does not sound like a good eat to go. Liver failure, stomach ulcers, respiratory problems...

This guy's thinking about the end goal.

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u/Forsaken-Turn-2381 Dec 01 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome Evil Cackle

Something they really love and watch them slowly being repulsed having consume it every day with no alternative...

1.3k

u/Maria_506 Dec 02 '21

This actually depends from person to person. My dad really loved some sort of cake when he was a kid and would always ask his mum to make it to the point that it was really annoying. She decided to make him that cake every day so he would get sick of it. She gave up after six months.

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u/decemberblack Dec 02 '21

Is your dad Bruce Bogtrotter?

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u/inuhi Dec 02 '21

There's always a limit, they will get sick of it eventually. I ate a plain bagel with cream cheese for lunch everyday for like 15 years eventually got sick of it and took a break for a few years but it would have happened much faster if I was eating it for every meal like within a month, probably faster idk I was a stubborn stupid kid.

40

u/censorkip Dec 02 '21

i ate a tuna packet for lunch almost every day in high school, i stopped eating them for my freshman year of college, but in the past few years i often bring a packet to work because it’s yummy and easy. in the year or so i stopped eating tuna packets i would eat rice topped with a fried egg every day for lunch. i’ve never really gotten sick of it. i would especially look forward to my daily egg and rice, but i don’t have the time to make it lately.

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u/takethelastexit Dec 01 '21

I fucking would die because I did this with grilled cheese. I ate 2 a day every day for 6 weeks because all the other food at the psych ward sucked and now I can’t eat it anymore

290

u/edlee98765 Dec 02 '21

How long ago was this? I think if you give it a few years, you can learn to like it again.

486

u/Jesus_marley Dec 02 '21

Grilled cheese or the psych ward?

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u/The_Blue_Bomber Dec 02 '21

Luckily, I find if you take a break from your favorite food (at least 2-3 months), and eat it sparingly, you get your love back for it. I felt the same for tuna melts, but an extended break really helped.

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u/SquishiOctopussi Dec 02 '21

Have you tried having it a different way? Bread or cheese? Adding meats or having soup with it?

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u/BonnieJan21 Dec 02 '21

Vegan locked in a psych ward. Only thing I could eat was Uncrustables while sitting in a room full of people eating fried chicken. This experience did not help my mental health.

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u/sharpshooter999 Dec 02 '21

I think I would've gave up on being vegan by that point. Of course, I'm not vegan so I suppose that's not comparing apples to apples

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u/most_likely_not_abot Dec 02 '21

Umm this might not turn out the way you want. Some people do not get tired of the same food.

Ive eaten the same homemade chicken burritos for lunch for 10 years. I also eat them for dinner sometimes because I make a big batch of the chicken and don’t want to waste it

Fuck, if it could provide all the vitamins/nutrients I needed I would eat them for every meal and I would never get tired of them.

Also I could. eat pizza for every meal and be happy.

Some of us don’t need variety

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u/bloooo612 Dec 02 '21

can I get the recipe for your burrito? Must be good for u to eat it everyday for 10 years!

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u/most_likely_not_abot Dec 02 '21

lol it’s just easy. I mean it’s great too, but I also love salsas and hot sauces and this gives me something to dip into those.

It’s like 5 pounds of chicken breast seasoned with some kickin chicken spice I buy from store, throw it in oven till cooked enough, then add cheese, beans, and rice and jalapeños, sometimes other peppers if I buy them too.

Then make like 10 burritos out of it.

Mainly just do it because I know I get a ton of protein from the chicken breast (i’m into lifting) and it gives me lunches for the week and a maybe dinner once.

But honestly I have never gotten tired of eating it

26

u/formershitpeasant Dec 02 '21

Back when I was running and lifting a lot, I ate a rotisserie chicken every day and always loved it. The bag full of broccoli got old fast, though.

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u/insertcaffeine Dec 02 '21

YES. I was a delivery driver for a pizza shop for 4 years. I ate pizza every shift. I loved it every shift.

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u/darkResponses Dec 02 '21

I'm sure the people whose pizza you delivered didn't enjoy their pizza being eaten. /s

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u/EarhornJones Dec 02 '21

I don't think that would work on me.

I ate fajitas every day for five months. I'd still be eating them, but my wife got tired of preparing them.

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u/Ceramic_Avatar221 Dec 02 '21

Sauerkraut.

As for a drink sauerkraut juice.

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u/stupid_comments_inc Dec 02 '21

A big bowl of SAUERKRAUT....

Every single morning!

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u/Mago0o Dec 02 '21

I voluntarily eat sauerkraut every day. It’s wonderful.

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u/iBelieveInSpace Dec 01 '21

Wasabi paste

470

u/ndnbolla Dec 02 '21

That first split second, I feel like a dragon. Then it turns into manic heaving.

Then I do it again.

49

u/KCMO_GHOST Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

The first time you accidentally eat too much and it cleanses the sinuses with pure euphoric pain 🥲

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u/Safer_Sephiroth_998 Dec 02 '21 Wholesome Starry

Everything, except it tastes slightly expired

209

u/MsNobody22 Dec 02 '21

That sounds like torture.

132

u/dirtsmores Dec 02 '21

Slightly expired and stale

61

u/mrgreyeyes Dec 02 '21

This is the title of my sextape.

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u/Vanilla4Pistachio Dec 01 '21

Bread crust, with nothing else

115

u/RealGrayKnight Dec 02 '21

That one seems even more depressing than the plain oatmeal

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u/twizzlers4bholes Dec 01 '21

Captain Crunch

199

u/nryporter25 Dec 02 '21

Their mouth will be in shreds. Eventually it will be too painful to eat any at all.

58

u/Sam_Porgins Dec 02 '21

To shreds, you say

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u/lokimycat Dec 01 '21

Caviar, they’ll go broke trying to eat

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u/janefromvegas Dec 01 '21

Fermented Greenland shark, traditionally prepared.

98

u/derbrauer Dec 02 '21

With traditional urine, buried in a.beach somewhere?

66

u/SomeKiwiBloke96 Dec 02 '21

Excuse me, what the fuck?

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u/FnCraig Dec 01 '21 Shocked

Whatever they want. They can live with the idea that it was them who chose what to eat the rest of their lives.

There's no decision they won't regret eventually.

249

u/Christmas_Panda Dec 02 '21

I would choose half of u/FnCraig's lunch. Every day I would get your lunch. So whatever you chose, we'd go down together and at least I wouldn't be paying for it. Checkmate.

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u/Takashiari275 Dec 02 '21

Just piles of Salt.

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u/DeliciousSloppyJoes Dec 02 '21

Make that sea salt. We don't want them to be unhealthy now do we?

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u/SlipSignificant3054 Dec 01 '21

Popeyes biscuits, with nothing to drink.

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u/tinyman392 Dec 02 '21

Oh god. I remember in middle school, I told my friend I’d buy him a 24oz Coke if he ate a box of Chips Ahoy Cookies (I think they were the soft kind) without any liquids. He didn’t realize what I was asking him to do until about ¼ the way through.

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u/Geoman265 Dec 02 '21

Did he get through the box?

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u/tinyman392 Dec 02 '21

He kind of gave way mid way through for some water.

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u/edlee98765 Dec 02 '21

My throat constricted just reading this.

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u/edward503 Dec 01 '21

You’re evil.

31

u/notevengonnatry Dec 02 '21

fuck dude, who hurt you so badly?

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u/zukrayz Dec 01 '21

Communion wafers

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u/SuicideSprints Dec 02 '21

They're actually pretty good lol

85

u/KiniShakenBake Dec 02 '21

Yeah, they really are. I very much liked them. ALMOST makes me want to go back to church. Then I remember that whole weekly thing and finding a parish that doesn't suck and then trying to find a Jesuit parish and my life gets sad all over again.

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u/DeluxeTea Dec 02 '21

Sitting through an hour of mass just for one wafer isn't time well spent if you didn't like going to mass in the first place.

Just buy the bags of wafers directly from the supplier.

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u/BJWTech Dec 02 '21

Overcooked broccoli

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u/schlingfo Dec 02 '21 Silver

Balut

121

u/xXsonagiXx Dec 02 '21

The one time I had balut I cried because I was forced to eat it and bones had already started forming

74

u/taokami Dec 02 '21

the crunch is part of the experience.

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u/FromNasa Dec 02 '21

You're a monster!

35

u/shanadiancitizen Dec 02 '21 Wholesome

🎵 I can swallow a bottle of alcohol and I'll....

30

u/cringedabber1234 Dec 02 '21

feel like Godzilla, better hit the deck like the card dealer

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u/Shockingelectrician Dec 01 '21

Cheese curds. It would be bomb for like a day but having to eat fried cheese every single day would turn into torture.

186

u/RachelVonLee Dec 02 '21

Its seems Nikocado Avocado is already your enemy.

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u/toadjones79 Dec 02 '21

Seriously they would just move to Wisconsin and enjoy the rest of their life. I mean, there are people already doing that here.

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u/Tribblehappy Dec 02 '21

Cheese curds aren't fried. I mean, I suppose you can fry them, but when you buy a bag of Squeakers they're just curds.

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u/ApophisRises Dec 02 '21 You Dropped This

Gas Station Hotdogs

132

u/andanotherone89 Dec 02 '21

My husband does this voluntarily

67

u/mwidup41 Dec 02 '21

Would your husband like to be friends?

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u/smaccams Dec 01 '21

Butter

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u/iDRSmyGME Dec 02 '21

Not just any butter, melted butter...

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u/NomadWife Dec 02 '21

Bull Penis and Casu Marzu (maggot cheese) together

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u/theGuyInIT Dec 02 '21

Black licorice.

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u/St-Velodion-Thane Dec 02 '21 Helpful

Fun fact: Some black licorice has glycyrrhizin as an ingredient and will kill you if you ingest too much. It can create imbalances in electrolytes and low potassium levels leading to high blood pressure, swelling, lethargy, and heart failure.

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u/Rarely_Trust Dec 02 '21

Hey, that WAS a fun fact. You learn something new everyday ☺️

16

u/t_portch Dec 02 '21

Black licorice was also my answer, for this very reason. I love how neither of us expounded on it, either. 'Black licorice.' LOL

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u/deathfox919 Dec 02 '21

Unflavored oatmeal. Let the descent into madness begin

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u/JimmyJazz1971 Dec 02 '21 edited Dec 02 '21

I don't have celiac disease; I'm fine with gluten. I do have the analagous condition with oats. My body fails to produce an enzyme that it needs in order to digest the primary protein in oats. I love oats, and pretty much anything made with them, but I'm ridin' the lightning all day if I eat the stuff. I suffered the Hershey squirts for 25y before my doctor finally figured out what was causing it. I hope I'm not your worst enemy.

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u/sadboi017 Dec 01 '21

Aerosol cheese

36

u/GozerDGozerian Dec 02 '21

Mmm cheese mist

24

u/JuanSVLRamirez Dec 02 '21

It's the Leaning Tower of Cheeza!

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u/ItsMyView Dec 01 '21

Mountain Oysters (Bull testicles)

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u/Townscent Dec 02 '21

Heard at the restaurant next to the bull fighting arena.... probably
"why are the Mountain Oysters so small?"
"you must understand seniõr, it is not always the Matador that wins"

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u/jasovanooo Dec 02 '21

Magic mushrooms Disgusting and (given the amount they would need to live) a sure fire ticket to insanity

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u/St-Velodion-Thane Dec 02 '21

Wouldn't it be ironic to have a self realization on one of your trips about why your this person's worst enemy and wanting to change but nope, too late. That might be the most evil part of this one. Plus hallucinations have a diminishing effect so at some point they're just eating gnarly mushrooms and not even having a good time haha

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u/sidpatt Dec 01 '21

Celery. They’d have to constantly eat …

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u/Aperture_T Dec 02 '21

Butter. Just straight butter.

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u/goat-of-mendes Dec 01 '21

Durian

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u/darkResponses Dec 02 '21

They said make him suffer. Not the people around him.

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u/account_552 Dec 02 '21

He'll suffer alright. Mentally, from all the friends he's losing.

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u/HulkRoids Dec 02 '21

Stale ribbon candy, the kind Grandma’s forget to serve.

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u/KEBABFISH Dec 02 '21 Helpful Wholesome

Okay so firstly, I want them to suffer. This means nothing they're allergic to, as otherwise they could die quicker then I intend. Secondly, I want them to feel deceived. So I'm not picking something that straight away seems really bad and painful to eat like maggots, dry biscuits with no drink, or super spicy pain.

I'd pick something that they really enjoy. So we'll use one of my favourite meals as an example: Steak and noodles. I'd pick something like this for my enemy as well, as it's a very carb and fat-based meal. During the first week (or half a week if they're really easy to bore), they'll see it as a gift from someone, feeling glad to have their favourite meal so often for so long. Yet as that time passed, they would grow bored of the same meal day-in day-out, and so would ask for something new.

Unfortunately, nothing new would come, and they would be stuck eating the same meal for years to come... Or until my next step comes in: Medical issues.

As they eat this high-carb, high-fat meal 3 times a day 7 days a week, they might notice some changes within themselves. They might feel lethargic, heavy, their heart might get over-stressed very easily from their exercise routine. They take a trip to the doctors, and realise that they're gaining weight. They're told to move to a healthier diet, but unfortunately they cannot do such a thing.

The food continues. The now bland, disgusting taste making them almost retch. The food itself just adding to their health issues. They get worse, more underlying issues begin to arise. Soon enough, the fat has clogged up the major arteries of the heart, and they suffer their first heart attack. If they survive, they go to suffer more and more, until the point where they soon die, their body ruined, their health ruined, and their future no more.

You want to kill an enemy in the worst way possible? Deceit and the Long Game are the ways to do it!

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u/MsNobody22 Dec 02 '21

Woah people said they found Satan's account on here but THIS is ACTUALLY Satan!

I love my favorite foods but need variety for at least 1 meal per day. I don't want those health issues. I'll excersize more than usual, I'll blend healthy food and DRINK IT!! THEREFORE DEFYING THE SYSTEM! ILL MAKE SURE I STAY ALIVE WITH SOME FOOD DIVERSITY! AND ₱UT WH0€√£R D1D TH|$ | || H£L|_!!

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u/OddScentedDoorknob Dec 01 '21

Bananas or potatoes. I don't like the guy but that doesn't mean I want him to die of malnourishment.

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u/EuphoriCryptographer Dec 01 '21

Crackers. Bland as fuck.

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u/GayCousinOfOsamaBL Dec 01 '21

Creme de la penis

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u/MsNobody22 Dec 02 '21

creme de la penis is a fine choice...

It's probably gross.

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u/tifffallenwind Dec 02 '21

That’s a fancy way to say cum

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u/DroptopFab916 Dec 01 '21

Travis scott

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u/MsNobody22 Dec 02 '21

Then they get arrested for cannibalism and are never able to eat again! A painful death.

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u/[deleted] Dec 02 '21

Only food approved by That Vegan Teacher

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u/sjozsi0799 Dec 01 '21

Pizza, but with no topping

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u/GozerDGozerian Dec 02 '21

They walk up to a big building with a sign that says Topless Pizza Palace and are soon doubly disappointed.

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u/andyman171 Dec 02 '21

Like a Flatbread? Or just sauce? Or cheese and sauce not extras?

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u/throwingplaydoh Dec 02 '21

Orange rinds

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u/C9Juice Dec 02 '21

If you choose any food that doesn’t involve protein the rest of their life won’t be very long.

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u/HyperMoonX7 Dec 02 '21

CAT FOOD

the wet stuff

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u/leakyanus9658 Dec 02 '21

Anyone remember those lays "WOW" chips? That is what i choose.

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u/BIGSTRONGPOGYOU Dec 01 '21

Balloons but only if they're fully inflated.

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u/totiefruity Dec 02 '21

bone marrow, delicious yes, but takes long time to prepare and not easily found anywhere, eating out will cost a ton and will probably have to book table since only certain fancy places serve it

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u/MadForge52 Dec 02 '21

Not easily found anywhere? Just go to your local butcher and order some. Even if they don't case it, next time they break down a cow they'll save you some marrow bones.

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u/brickbaterang Dec 01 '21

A very tasty and delicious soup of thier choosing

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